Mango Insanity

Mango trees in Brisbane have gone berserk. Favorable growing conditions have  resulted in a mega-glut of the tropical fruit. Residents under siege compared the clunk clunk clunk of fruit hitting their tin roofs to being strafed in the blitz – yeah, that was a resident in her 90’s. Council rubbish trucks  can’t lift wheely bins full of unwanted rotting fruit. The solution – a chutney recipe.

Don’t get me wrong, chutney’s great with curry or on a cold lamb sandwich. But how many gigalitres of chutney does the average household consume in a century?

Maybe we should cook up all surplus mangos and crate the chutney to NSW. It seems their economy is exploring the Coriolis effect, spiralling faster and faster down the economic plughole.

Chutney for Cockroaches! Victory Chutney!

I like it – it’s got a good, old-school ring. Chutney hard, Brisbanites.


8 Responses

  1. Exactly my sentiments Madam M. In the old days it was “waste not, want not”. We would have chutney pouring out our ears, with twenty other recipies mum and grandma could think up. Then us kids would have flung the slimy pips at each other in suburban warfare across the vacant block out the back. If we were lucky, a thai family would have lived in the neighbourhood, sharing their yummy recipies for the glut.
    Forget the wheelie bins! Get cranking chutny-ites and instead of rotting fruit on the kerbs, slap a table and pink gingham table cloth on it to sell your wares like the best P&C stall ever did at a country show. Its mangoes…sam kekavitch style…

  2. I quite like the idea of hurling rotten mangos at rotten men.

  3. Ahhhhhhh, use for a mango when in glut no. 21. Good job, Quokka…although, one wonders if, even in a glut of mangoes, are there enough to go around?

  4. Maths isn’t my forte.
    But I do have a good arm.
    And I do like that kersplatting sound when they bounce off some dumbass narcissist that’s wandered into my sights.

  5. Hee hee, methinks you are attracting too many Leo’s. Leo women are just the bomb, but Leo men? {shudder} Not my cup of tea, to be sure. They always have ‘mother’ issues, making you pay for them. Why? You ask….
    I don’t. Ping off, wanker, is my response. Works every time. You should try, Quokka. The mango season with its wondrous glut will soon end…

  6. Alas, Fireman Sam is neither close enough for me to hurl a mango at, nor a Leo.

    Given I live in Logan, where flying foxes are taking care of the mango overflow (and the flow apparently), if someone would like to send me a few preferably BEFORE they rot?

  7. A shipload is currently winging it’s way to you, Mayhem. I didn’t realise until now that you lived in Logan. No wonder you don’t enjoy life in Brissie!

    *whispers in husky, seductive yet somewhat disturbing tones*

    “Come over to the Northside, Mayhem! Everybody floats…”

  8. Disturbed I am, M. Morgana. Indeed a delicious, yet terrifying shudder shook my frame. For a moment there, not everything was right with my world.
    Don’t worry Mayhem, as half-breed of some ethnic culture better left unsaid, I can offer an array of weaponry that can peg a mango to wherever you want to…in the world.
    *throaty laugh* How bad do you want to hit him…?

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