GOMAzing

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The always lovely Ildi and I met at GOMA yesterday and spent the next 4 hours marvelling at GOMA’s 10th birthday party.  The installation by an Icelandic(of course) artist who has a name like something complicated from IKEA but fortunately for Anglophones goes by “shoplifter” had to be stroked to be believed, and there was an installation in a dark gallery made simply of lighting and a smoke machine that played with your mind – in a good way.  We agreed that every cent of our tax dollars that it costs is well worth while. Do yourself a favour.

 

 

 

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145 Responses

  1. Hoorayxxxxxxx

    >

    • Huzzah! And hello Ildi, lovely to see you guesting in at the Box here. Do come back. xxxx
      I’ll have to pop in and see GOMA sometime when the thermostat outdoors isn’t set on Spit Roast.

  2. “Ill fares the race which fails to salute the arts with the reverence and delight which are their due.” -Winston Churchill-

  3. Actually, if you can overlook the stinky sticky travails of getting to the place, the microclimate around GOMA is admirable. The gallery is always cool and dry for the good of the works, of course, but when we wandered underneath for coffee and chips – and mushrooms sauteed with garlic and pine nuts, a dish I plan to repeat at home ASAP – there was a lovely breeze off the river and I suppose the concrete mass of the gallery sucked a lot of heat up, too.

    I really love that place. It’s the best thing I can ever recall a State Gubbinment doing.

  4. Tsk tsk…. out in public and you eat mushrooms? Good gracious, girl, when the opportunity arises for CAEK, you grab it with both hands! Mushrooms indeed…. I’ve never heard such nonsense.

  5. It is lovely.
    I thought about going through GOMA when I was up there in the library a few weeks ago, but my feet had given out by that stage & the thought of spending even more time on them, while my left hip rotated further towards it’s 2monthly corkscrew position, was more than I could bear.
    I’m quite happy to leave art galleries to people with functioning feet & less fraught spines.
    Well, I am off to Vagus for what seems to be a regular 2monthly wrenching by the osteopath to put my feet & my vertebrae back in the position where evolution intended them to be, and then I have fun things to attend to like a trip to the mechanic, and a supply run for bibs & bobs I’ve yet to locate on the Old Coast.
    I don’t expect to be back till tonight, so happy Mondaying, blogsters. And stay cool – can you believe BOM have their 7 day forecast out for SEQ and they’re still denying us thunderstorms?
    For shame!

  6. They had a vanilla and salted caramel cheesecake, Catty. But I looked at it and thought, “even I wouldn’t be able to have more than a mouthful of that”. And I never trust those muffins in jars, they’re probably from the Museum. One of their former displays, I mean.

    Q, that sucks. I’m surprised the Old Coast isn’t full of those services. I bet you’re right for fake nails, fake tans and hair extensions, though. Good luck with the traffic!

  7. Mmmmm…. cheesecake….

    We had rain last night, Q. It was heavy and glorious. This morning the streets are littered with banks of leaves and branches, and it’s still overcast so there may be more rain to come. I’d send you some, but BoM doesn’t deliver gift certificates.

  8. It was lovely, wasn’t it Catty? Maybe we should try and do something with kulcha for our next catchup! Next month I believe? I’ll do some research to ascertain which kulchural attractions are closest to the chocolate shops. And Yay!!!, I’m back!!!

  9. Huzzah and welcome back, Mayhem. Not much has changed, but you have missed a fair bit of CAEK.

  10. Yes, much CAEK. Mayhem, my appointment book is filling fast with medical faff, and Centrelink want me to sign up with a JSA at the end of the week (which will mean many appointments), so you should flag a date or two now that I can black out in my diary.

    Meanwhile, if you can find an interactive chocolate installation for us to tour, count me in!

    • No medical appointments for me in the immediate future, so Huzzah for that. Did we decide the first week of the new season? Pick a day when Mel works, or maybe she’d prefer to come in on a day off so she doesn’t have to rush off? I’ll message her in the next day or so, then line up the beards.

  11. Don’t worry too much about the JSA, that should only be once a fortnight. Although – oh smurf! – what if they make you go to The Borg’s Seminar on Using Deodorant And How To Spell One’s Own Name?

    Oh, I hope not.

  12. They may send me for training. I’m pretty good at using Windows ’95, but anything after that is a bit too technomological for me.

  13. Actually, if you can do a couple of Admin certs, go for it. I’m the same person – with essentially the same skills – as I was since before I did them, but they seem to appeal to employers.

    At the least I suppose they prove you can turn up on time M-F.

  14. I’m wondering if CNN stands for Cookies, Naps and Nachos, and what certs I need to work there.

    • LOL. Undoubtedly.

  15. I think the c probably stands for c-words.

  16. Mmmm…. C-words…. Chocolate…. CAEK…. Carribean…. Coffee….

  17. Chaise Longue, comfort-eating, Cointreau …

    • Chris Hemsworth

  18. Crayons, cats, champagne….

  19. Cuddle, catastrophe … oh, wait

  20. Cockswaddle.

  21. Is that a treat or a punishment, Q?

  22. I don’t know what it means but they use it on twitter a lot, most particularly in regard to POTUS, and I feel much better if I shout it, loud and proud.

  23. I went to look it up on urbandictionary & I was so impressed with their Words of the Day that I forgot what I was doing.
    Lord Dampnut wins the internet, now I just need to find someone obnoxious enough to christen such.
    ‘Arise, Lord Dampnut!’ and so on.
    I forgot, the CWA ladies are talking DV care packages for the shelters again & I have NFI where I put your suggestions for the contents. I do remember that you had some good suggestions that weren’t on their list of shampoo/conditioner/soap/razors/toothbrush/paste/tampons etc.
    Remind me?

  24. journal & pen for making notes and such

    air freshener? (like one of those nice oil and reeds ones, not a can of Glen 20)

    some choccies or nice tea bags or some other pampering thing

    i can’t really remember … but keep up the good work, CWA.

  25. Good one, MM.
    They said that there was an optional ‘something pretty’ in the care package, so I will put suggest replacing that with ‘small indulgence which may not fit into the luxury budget’.
    As of today I am officially & financially a member.
    I’ll only be able to attend about half the meetings because of timetable clash, but I can volunteer at all their weekend things, I can drop cakes & such off for their internal competitions, (among the sub-branches) & I get to make cakes and biscuits for their fund-raiser stalls.
    Probably a good way to ease into it.

  26. We’re so proud of you, Q. You’re living our dream.

  27. I know it and I’m continually grateful for waking up from the nightmare that was life at Toad Park.
    I’m starting to quite enjoy the forays back into West End, purely for the joy of driving past Toad Street & 55 minutes later finding myself nestled into the peace of the hinterland forest.

  28. 55 minutes – that’s about how long it took to get home from the specialist today. Ugh. The air cond wasn’t working and it’s stinking hot out there. Eventually the Boss pulled over and poked the unit with a screwdriver (no sticks) and got it going again. We just got home and I am about to go and make sweet love to our pool.

  29. Ugh, no AC, that’s vile.
    How did the specialist visit go, Catty? Is he/she happy with your progress?
    Here’s hoping you get a nice JSA, too. Do they actually help you to set up dates with potential employers, or is this just one of those empty services that the gubbermint wastes money on, hoping to irritiate people into finding gainful employment.

  30. No, no – despite the Borg Queen and all her deodorant and why-did-my-second-husband-go-to-Bali-without-telling-me? seminars, it was Mission who set up the interview that got my my job, so they’re definitely not all bad. When you go on an interview, Catty, maybe do your own follow-up though. My now Boss told Mission they wanted to offer me something and Mission did nothing for 10 days. Eventually the Boss rang me direct.

    Shudder.

    Even now I get cold chills about what would have become of us if she’d just gone, “Meh” and offered my job to someone else.

  31. Independent surveys say 3 out of five JSA’s are money grubbing, heartless and petty. Hopefully I get one of the other two. There are some dreadful stories going around. One lady said her JSA made them sit in a room and look for their own jobs online. Another said they wouldn’t reschedule his appointment when he’d lined up his own job interview, and his payment was cut off. And many people have said that they’ve found their own work, but the JSA harangued the new boss for information so they could get credit for the placement. I’m a little nervous about it all, to be frank. What if they’re not flexible with my medical appointments?

    No news on the scan until the end of the week. I didn’t have a great deal of faith in the radiographer. She seemed very distracted. I hope she hasn’t screwed it up.

  32. Request Mission. Being Catholic they’re very family orientated. And if you get a case worker who blows, complain and get a new one.

    i wouldn’t worry about the radiographer. The machine will have known what it was doing.

  33. My first suspicion that her mind wasn’t on the job was when she opened the door into the waiting room within two seconds of me removing my bra. My second suspicion was when she ripped off the little stick-on metal nipple clips for the fifth time to reposition them and had to get new ones because they had lost their sticky. The clincher was when she dug her ultrasound wand into my throat. I may not know much about echocardiograms, but I’m pretty sure ‘heart in my throat’ is a figurative expression.

  34. She’s very lucky you didn’t faint and make her fill in an incident report.

  35. LOL. Should not find that amusing but being the evil human being that I am, I do.
    Now I know what I’m going to do the next time one of them traps me in the mammogram machine.
    Hope for the best, Catty. If you’re anticipating fuck ups at every corner, you’ll probably find them, and the energy spent anticipating all that can go wrong is creativity you could be using to write your best selling novel.
    And the world needs more hilarious novels.
    I have to wax lyrical about the library again, I’m reading so much more now that I’ve got peace & quiet & the GCCC library is fabulous.
    Remember ‘the life changing magic of not giving a fuck’?
    Yeah, it turned up in my holds last week so I’ve been having a lovely time reading that.
    Along the same line as the cleaning book, she recommends making a list of things & people that give you joy as opposed to those that irritate & annoy. Once you’re done making your list, you devote attention to the things that spark joy & you get a big black marker & strike out everything on your ‘Meh, sucks the joy out of my existence/and or/don’t give a flying FK’ list.
    She says that Marie K advises you to do some buddhist thankfulness thing but she prefers to utter the line ‘Fuck you’ every time she’s striking a long black line through something that needlessly sucks her time, energy and money via obligation or guilt.
    I am liking this philosophy & plan to implement it on anything that makes a habit of irritating me for the rest of the year.
    Wendy Whiner’s stupid yappy dog must know this as I haven’t heard squeak out of it since I got home at 10am.
    Win. 🙂

  36. Oh yes, this has been my policy for years and I wholeheartedly endorse it. I came to this conclusion watching my Mother spend every Saturday night – EVERY – playing bridge with one woman she couldn’t stand because she felt vaguely sorry for the woman’s husband. This went on for decades. She regularly lunches with weird, annoying people. Nup. Not me, never.

    You end up with fewer invitations to parties, and hardly any Christmas cards, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Life is too damn short to waste your joy on energy vampires and other downers.

    • Yep. I kept telling my cousins ‘I think you’d get a lot out of counselling’ – meaning ‘I’d get a lot out of it if you lot went to counselling’ but they never did, so spending time with them made me want to open a vein.
      I of course am a terrible human being for getting out of Dodge, but it beats the alternative, which their brother chose, of going underground in a box, with a shitload of track marks over his veins.
      If people don’t want to deal with their shit & live a good life then this is their business, and I am quite firmly convinced – it is none of mine.
      I’m actively avoiding my GF with the custody dispute at the moment, because the only time she ever wants to see me is to talk it over.
      Yeah, No. Some people just need to get a therapist.

  37. Oh, I hope GB, Fifi, Melbo and Mayhem don’t start doing that, or I’m going to have a lot of big black crosses all over me and no invitations to burger gatherings.

    I’d like to try it on the house, though. Do you think the Boss will find it strange if I wander around the house with a sharpie, muttering ‘Fuck You’ while I scribble on the washing machine, the vacuum, the kitchen sink, the toilets, and all the floors and windows?

    • Never! None of us would ever avoid you, actively or otherwise. 😘😘

    • Ahah! if thou sayest his name, he will appeare.

      Actually I wondered where everyone had gone and went back to the old blog, found this one and started skimming for updates. Bonus Mayhem! (But not her mum – extra bonus points)

  38. hehehe. I already say “fuck” a lot when housework becomes inevitable, I don’t see why you shouildn’t scrawl it.

    Actually, go right ahead – your house will be like a Tracey Emin installation and you’ll be able to sell tickets.

  39. I think we should sell Tm house cleaning products labeled Fuck This.
    We should start with ironing board covers that say ‘Fuck you, Laundry Pile’.
    That’d make me feel better every time I have to iron a blouse, for sure.

  40. A friend who was a bit of a bigwig in State Poitics – and also a single Mum – had one that just said SACRIFICE.

  41. Hehehehehehee.
    Pictures scorch marks on the many garments sacrificed at that altar.

    • She also encouraged me to persist with my “brilliant” career on the grounds that I would never have to do housework again.

      I’m happy with relaxed and doing a bit around the house as a trade-off.

  42. MIL keeps telling me I should get myself a job as a domestic cleaner. And I keep laughing and laughing.

  43. Hehehehe. Surely she means CAEK tester. Or pyjama designer?

  44. I’m looking around for sleep study centres, to see if they need anyone for paid studies. Being paid to nap sounds like my kind of work.

  45. Did you know there’s a disease called Familial Family Insomnia? It starts out with being unable to nap, then it progresses to not being able to sleep – not hot night or hot flush insomnia, complete inability to sleep at all – until you die!

    I can’t think of anything worse.

  46. How about being allergic to chocolate? I’ve heard of this hell, and I pray for the poor, afflicted souls.

  47. I didn’t know that was possible! You can’t suddenly get it as an adult, can you?

  48. Yes… well, sort of. My aunty developed an allergy to sugar when she was nearing 70. She couldn’t eat chocolate, lollies, CAEK, ice cream, or biscuits. Fruit was out, too. Poor love. She lived another 20 years like that, but it must have felt much, much longer.

  49. Quelle horriblé!

  50. Good lord. I might start smoking again, just to make sure I die before I’m 70.

  51. I’d join you, but I’ve met so many fit, spritely, witty old devils since I moved down here that I’m inspired to forgo my planned nembutal overdose at 72 & join them.
    Polar Bears FTW.

  52. are you sure they’re old? we have a lot of people bouncing around looking like they’re made of old handbags and I always wonder if they’re active retirees, or 40 year-olds who’ve spent too long on beaches.

    • The hound introduced me to a 98yro polar bear last winter, MM, and his spritely 93yro wife. They had beautiful skin, no doubt due to the hours they kept in the Polar Bear club down at the SLSC. Dawn swims must be invigorating & good for one’s heart & complexion.
      We’ve got a few of the crocodile skin handbag folk down here, usually coated liberally in bling, & I think they’re the type who lathered up in baby oil to sunbake in the70s.

  53. I’ve always envied the poms and their porcelain skin. They age so well! Bastards.

  54. … is it because they rarely sully it with soap, perchance?

  55. I don’t know how anyone could say the poms don’t like soap. There’s East Enders and Coronation Street, and they absolutely love Neighbours.

    • Bon tish! Catty’s here all week folks. Try the Cashmere Bouquet.

    • Ah well. Some things never change. Or improve.

  56. Now now, Madam. Don’t get into a lather – I won’t have a bar of it.

    • Not even this imperial Leather? Surely Tahiti looks nice?

  57. “Simon, Tahiti”
    “Roger”
    “Yes, I’m doing that to the shareholders now, thanks for asking”.

    • When did you go to a Liberal party fundraiser?

  58. I’ve got nothing. Unless the LOL suds coming out of my nose count for such.

  59. Good-oh, Quokka. Add a bit of derision to those snorted lol’s, and you’d fit right in at the Liberal party fundraisers.

  60. If you can spew hate out of your mouth as well, there’ll be a bidding war between One Nation and Cory Bernadi’s Conservative Party.

  61. It’s a shame you lot don’t do twitter. When the announcement came out that Cory was forming his own party, some wag tweeted ‘I remember what happened the last time a Corey formed a party’ with a picture of that useless Cory party boy that got arrested, in all his glory of lairy sunglasses, bare chest & nipple ring.
    Hilarious.

    • Hehehe.

      Hang on, I’ve got a teenager. Eeeeeeeek!

  62. LOL! If Worthington taught us anything, it’s that advertising your party on Facebook attracts the kind of people who riot when the booze runs out. It would be worth joining Bernardi’s party just to watch the fun when his new followers show up at the first meeting and find a coffee urn and Arnott’s assorted instead of hookers and blow. And then we can all do burnouts in the carpark.

  63. Ha, yes, except I’m pretty sure they’ll BYO hookers & blow, and like Pauline’s mob, the news will be filled with them all self-sabotaging in the first year in the spotlight.

  64. Straya!

    • Bernadi’s lot won’t have trouble scraping their deposit together. They’ll have better teeth and much better clothes. But it will be hard to split them based on fascist tendencies.

      • I will call this one early & say, sexting scandals featuring gimp suits & boys under 15, and then there’ll be some shady financial deals that will bring them unstuck. The predictable fascist shadow stuff.

  65. Don’t forget the racist twitter posts.

  66. And very possibly a drunken party where they try to pass some (female) interns around like an horderves platter.

  67. What, flat and grey, and covered with shrimp?

  68. Mmm … shrimp.

    “I did not lick cocktail sauce off that woman!”

  69. “I am not a crooque (monsieur)!”

  70. Hehehe. You win. I can’t do better than that. Also, now I really want a toastie.

  71. Well, with me around you’ll always have plenty of cheese.

  72. She’s still going!

  73. I blame that on lactose intolerance.

  74. With me, it’s magnesium tablets. Geez those things are relaxing, though.

  75. Magnesium does that? Oh. Oh dear. That could explain a lot.

    • Really? You’d been taking magnesium?

      Yeah to much and it goes straight through you. That’s why Epsom salts unblock the back passage. Desist forthwith and you might get your gut back in shape.

  76. Shall do. It’s going to hurt, though. I take it because if I don’t, I get awful cramping in the muscles around my heart. Three of the valves leak a little bit. I wonder why none of the doctors, nurses and surgeons have told me this before?

    • Because they were focused on their own little areas rather than looking at the big picture?

      I just take it to chill at the end of the day. If you’re taking it for cardiac reasons I wouldn’t stop it without medical supervision, darld.

  77. Yep, magnesium is good stuff. I’ve been taking it to stop my feet from cramping & it’s helping, lots.

  78. I’m taking my food diary to the outpatients clinic today. Hopefully I see someone there who has a clue this time. Thanks for the info; thank goodness I have such intelligent and informed friends.

  79. Hehehe. If they were still handing out barbiturates like M&Ms I’d be necking those and wouldn’t have to resort to magnesium … but you’re welcome anyway/

  80. Mmmm…. M&M’s….

  81. If M&Ms had a magnesium-enhanced shell, they’d be delicious and relaxing. And, if you ate enough of them, also a laxative!

  82. According to my food diary, they already are a laxative.

  83. “Melts in your mouth not in your hand” is probably a better slogan than “shit through the eye of a needle”.

  84. It works for Taco Bell.

  85. Now we all know what’s not for dinner tonight.

  86. I’m hoping for leftovers. Our Valentine’s dinner was delicious and plentiful. There was even leftover dessert (chocolate mousse), but I think MK may have inhaled all of that when she got home from school.

  87. Yummo, that sounds delicious, Catty.
    I completely forgot it was VD & as we’d had such a late night I headed for the Japanese at West Burleigh to get take out.
    Thankfully there weren’t that many people there & several had taken their toddlers along with them to remind the other diners where their romance is heading.
    To my delight I discovered that they’ve got tempura battered camembert on the menu, with some sort of delcious plum sauce for dipping.
    I ate the entire container of it while I was waiting for the Bloke’s train to pull in.
    Of course none of my PANTS would do up the next day but as they fed us hot dogs for lunch yesterday, & the veggo ones looked even more poisonous than the carnivorous ones, well, swings & roundabouts.
    Pass on that, gross.

  88. At least they offered you a vego option. In my time at Uni it would have been meat or suck a dick.

    Fried camembert is delightful – but do they have those Lion rolls like Secret Sushi? If so I’m there.

    • I haven’t been there that often so I’m not sure what they do, other than it’s delicious & it makes up for loss of access to Sushi Kotobuki.
      Our local indy sushi train down at the village makes amazing fresh sushi, so that’s my usual port of call.
      And as we’ll have closet doors next week, I’m that bit closer to having guest quarters here so you guys can judge for yourself.

  89. There’s little in this world that isn’t made better by dipping it in batter and deep frying it. They really should offer that as an alternative funeral option.

  90. Battered wives, anyone?

  91. Remember Paul Keating, “Things That Batter”?

    As long as cupboard doors enable you to stand fast against rellies – then huzzah, Q! What finish are you getting … all I know is not 2-pac.

    • Very simple – white board to match the closet doors that we didn’t mangle. We thought it best to keep the costs down & keep everything with the same look so that nothing stands out, so it’s just the base-line budget range.
      The exciting bit is that once installed, doors will make a whole lot of crap disappear.

  92. I’ve always liked those doors that are made of mirrors. But then, I’ve always liked flocked wallpaper too, so don’t listen to me.

  93. Oh I love flocked wallpaper. Preferably very ornate in design. And red like the colour of healthy insides.

  94. MIL has gold flocked wallpaper in her lounge room, with gold velvet curtains. It’s very Louis XV.

    • Ooh. Tell me she’s got ornate gilded spindly chairs. And a footman.

      • now there’s a happy thought. Where can I find a footman?

      • I’ve been known to admire a well shaped foot and even give footrubs but I’m not a footman. More of a (harumph. This is your internal censor speaking. shut up)

  95. No, unfortunately. She has a delightful 70’s chocolate brown velvet lounge suite and tinted-glass-topped coffee table she bought brand new when they moved into the house. It’s very comfy. Until you stand up and stub your toe on one of the many brass animal figurines scattered around the room.

    • Q, they’re in the same aisle as the handymen.

      Brass animal figurines and a smoked glass coffee table? Next time location scouts are looking for a place to shoot a 70s biopic you should nominate MIL’s lounge room.

  96. The in-laws are fond of telling everyone that the Boss was conceived on that coffee table, so it should come as no surprise it’s more 70’s porn than 70’s biopic.

    • Tell me they have a mirrored pillar in one corner!

      Also what is it with you lot and the horizontal folk dancing on non-bedroom furniture?

  97. No mirror any more. They had to remove it to install a Coonara a few years ago. This event coincides with FIL’s loss of interest in marital activity. MIL wants to complain, but the Coonara was her idea.

    I’m not sure why their family have a penchant for Bedroom Olympics outside of the bedroom, but I’m not complaining. Unless I get carpet burn. Or a Coonara.

    • So a Coonara is like a scaled-up crockpot, on effect?

      • It would appear so. MIL constantly complains that FIL won’t take the blue pills she bought him. I’ve offered to get her one of those do-it-yourself aids from the Adult Shop, but she harumphed so much at the idea that she almost spilled her wine. Almost.

  98. And our Brisbane guest (remember her) just left with a pile of bags approximately twice her own weight. Off to the wilds of Brunswick to start uni. She was easy to have around, tidy, cooked occasionally, vacuumed out the car(!) and generally lovely. But I did miss pants-off Fridays.

    Jesse’s stout (Southern Courage Russian Imperial Stout) gets launched today but we’ll be minding the kidlets, not mingling with the boozerati. Seems fair.

    • Oh break a… umm head?…. to the Commie Cervesa. Hope it goes down well.

      • Oh it does! It really does.

  99. That doesn’t sound fair at all! We shall have to make up for it; I believe Mayhem is keen to meet up again in March. Bubble time!

    • Also tell Brisbane lass she’s set to high a standard. Vacuumed the car?!

      • We helped a fair bit with stuff and she was looking for something nice to do. Don’t know why she picked that? I did it once when we lived in Brisbane. I think.

    • Excellent.

  100. Wait, what? You can vacuum cars? Good gracious, don’t tell the Boss, or he will want me to start doing it.

  101. What a lovely guest.
    I need someone to vacuum out our car, but there don’t seem to be any house elves here at coastal casa Q that are up to the task. Other than the very surly one that glares at me out of the mirror.
    I gather they’ve all been set free. For which I blame the Bloke, and all the socks & jocks he drops on the floor.

  102. I’m much happier living in squalor and having all the house elves free.

    Actually that might be my new welcoming line! “Please excuse the mess, we liberated the house elves. “

  103. Perhaps a sign on the front door ‘Due to an avalanche of dropped socks, the house elves have been set free, and as the dust bunnies have risen up & run off with my wand, I am temporarily unable to attend to your creature comforts.’

  104. My brother once had a doormat emblazoned with the words ‘Piss Off’. Says it all, really.

  105. Good suggestions, I might get both.

  106. That reminds me. I must stock up on dust masks and Hazmat suits for visitors.

  107. Hehehe. Don’t forget those slip over shoe covers! They come in a handy dispenser box, like tissues.

  108. I don’t waste money on shoe covers, just make them leave their shoes at the door and wear tissue boxes on their feet like Howard Hughes.

  109. Nope. I tried that, but it made the tissues smell icky.

    • Would you like Aloe Vera, Lavender or Feet?

  110. If you stick your feet in the Eucalyptus box, does that make your feet smell like a koala’s?

  111. I’m not sure – the smell of chlamydia and koala urine isn’t in my essential oils collection. Still, it can’t be worse than my feet already smell, can it? O.k, sign me up.

  112. I think Chlamydia is an Impulse scent.

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