GOMA Part II

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Too much scrolling through the previous comments, so check this out.  It filled the gallery.  To get an idea of scale, I could walk under the second loop easily.

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135 Responses

  1. Wow. What the hell is that thing? is it art, or a reconstruction of something that slithered through Gondwanaland when the dinosaurs roamed the earth?

  2. And have you got episode 8 of Riverdale yet? It’s not popping up on our screen & I’m wondering what’s up with that. Our subscription is really old, so perhaps that’s an extra that I didn’t sign up for. Who knows.

  3. You promised there would be no more Nope Ropes!

  4. It’s Art, though, Catty … if you really can’t bear it, I’ll change it out. It’s made of metal, Q … brushed aluminium, I think I remember(?). I agree, though, it looks like they unearthed the Rainbow Serpent.

    The DEVASTATING news about Riverdale is that for no good reason I know of they’re not releasing the new episode until 31st March!! That’s still 11 days away *sob*

  5. It’s fabulous, and almost tempting enough to make me want to visit GOMA. Albeit in a wheelchair, given how my feet are feeling after our post-gorging walkies yesterday.
    Well that sucks, stupid netflix. Why do the movie people always have to punish us for being in Australia? Sometimes I think they deserve all the damned pirating that goes on.

  6. Nothin’ wrong with a bit of pirating, me hearties, if it’s accompanied by pillaging and plundering…. also ravishing, if I can find Timothy Dalton’s address.

  7. Arrrrrgh! i used to like plundering, now browsing and snacking are more my speed.

    Q, it would be worth a bit of swelling, really the whole thing is amazing. And to think you can just go for free seems extra special. I love living in a country where art is still considered worthwhile and available to the masses should they choose. For now, anyway.

    • Oh yes, I’m with you on that one. I grew up with my mother’s family all carrying on like morons about the uselessness of all forms of art & creativity & I’d hate for anyone to number me among them.
      the thing is that a lengthy stint on my feet is never ‘free’ – it comes at a price, and that’s coping with the pain of my hip rotating at an unnatural angle & then a couple of weeks of torment with my spine, waiting for the osteo to fit me in & to wrench it all back in place again.
      Did you see the shorts for tonight’s Australian Story? I’m in complete sympathy with whatserface’s mother & her choice to quietly opt out. That’s my plan, and I’ll be happy to slither off to the next world when I’m 70, rather than live with chronic joint pain in a dull haze of opiate addiction.
      I keep meeting dog people who’ve said that they looked into their dog’s eyes & knew that their dog wanted to go, so while it broke their heart’s they knew that it was time for the needle at the vet.
      Why people can’t accept that when a loved one actually tells them that in plain English is utterly beyond me.
      They do say that the Boomer generation will drive the legalisation of euthanasia, and it’ll make it an acceptable choice for sufferers of chronic pain.
      I hope so.

  8. Can’t happen soon enough! Other than the wisdom of saving people from suffering, it’s so much more sensible to not waste heaps of money and lots of young lives caring for people who don’t know which end is up. Nursing homes are much better than they used to be, I’m told. But still *shudder*

  9. Yep. The Bloke’s mother is settling miserably into her nursing home, & the Bloke was advised not to visit her on the weekend as there’s some sort of Plague that has them in lockdown, so they’re not receiving guests.
    I asked what it was, but as the message had been filtered through his father, and the man subsists on ham sandwiches washed down with beer & Scotch, no sensible response was forthcoming.
    So until I’m informed otherwise I’m going to assume what I’ve long suspected, MIL’s evil is contagious and there’s been an uncontainable outbreak of it amongst both staff & residents.

  10. I can’t bring myself to support euthanasia. I understand the arguments for it, and sympathise with the desire to end pointless suffering, but in this country? C’mon, you’ve seen the clowns taking turns running things down there in Canberra. How long do you reckon it would take for them to start using it for state-sanctioned murder? It’s far easier to prevent euthanasia than it is to reverse it once it’s implemented and misused. And it WILL be misused. Legalise euthanasia and I can guarantee Logan’s Run will change from Sci Fi to Prediction far sooner than you’d think.

    • Q, I think you’ve given me a workable plot for a horror remake of Coccoon.

      Catty, I think you’re rprobably right in practise. The other thing that concerns me is who will be doing the offing. I think there need to be Euthanasaticians. You can’t expect people’s family doctors to start knocking people off as a sideline without there being a huge amount of stress for both sides.

  11. Happy to be of service, MM. Humour me, and add some giant spiders, just for kicks?

  12. *moar shudders*

  13. Giant spiders are good value. Did you see Stephen King’s the Mist? Living dead people enmeshed in spider silk look terrific on film.

  14. Have you seen The Maze Runner? I almost walked out of the theatre I was so terrified.

  15. Yeah, that was a good flick, for a teen action. It would have been confronting for you, though, Catty.

  16. Another one I’ve missed.That spider mesh sounds fabulous. Who do I call to ensnare & then incubate some bogans?

  17. The Mist. But it’s a bit complicated. You have to accidentally open a portal into a alternative Universe.

  18. As opposed to opening the portal on purpose…. (looking at you, GB).

  19. Yes, I told you not to buy that used Stargate on Gumtree, GB.

  20. But he was right about it making an awesome trampoline.

  21. Nothing springier than a warp in the dimensional matrix.

  22. Ah, so that’s the secret to the CWA’s perfect sponge CAEK. Quokka, you’ve been holding out on us.

  23. It doesn’t explain the award-winning French jellies, though.

  24. There’s a French Twist in the time-space continuum, of course. I’m planning to use it when I turn my hand to choux pastry & eclairs.

  25. Save yourself the grief and go straight to the Mary Berry choux pastry recipe. I’ve used it many times and it always works perfectly.

  26. Mum makes lovely choux. If she has some top tips I’ll pass them on.

  27. Thanks, ladies. I checked & that recipe is indeed inside my Mary Berry Baking Bible. Lurve that book.

  28. i hope you’ve had some of this glorious rain now, Q? We were lashed by another deluge overnight.

  29. We’ve had some rain too. Specifically at school pick up and drop off times. Of course.

  30. yes that’s exactly what BOM predicted for SEQ tomorrow. Wet children & angry motorists. I think I’ll stay home with a good book & stay well out of it.
    yes we’ve had some lovely rain, MM. I hear sounds of Whining filtering through the soundproofing so I’m guessing Wendy has come home to find that she’s partially submerged, again.
    Although it was predictable I confess I’m not finding as entertaining as I’d thought.
    perhaps when the mosquitos start breeding in her newly created swampland…

    • Or she gets such a fine crop of mushrooms on the downstairs carpets that they try to set up a Farmer’s Market in her rumpus room?

  31. Mmmmm…. we had a rather fine chicken and mushroom casserole last night. Maybe I should give Wendy the recipe?

  32. We have had a lot of mushrooms springing up in the wet, I might supplement my own income with a carton of them.

  33. I found some interesting bright yellow ones in the giant flowerpot on our doorstep this morning. I wonder how they would taste?

  34. Like sunshine & buttercups?

  35. Either quite nice
    OR like a Jimi Hendrix solo appreciated through a kaleidoscope
    OR it would be the last thing you ever tasted.

  36. So, don’t eat them, then? O.k. I’ll have CAEK instead.

  37. Mmm … CAEK.

  38. MIL is shouting lunch today for her birthday. Being a Lent Friday, I will not be able to eat any meat at the buffet. So, straight to the dessert bar for me. Aren’t I a good little Catholic?

  39. Oh, what a pity. Have some hot caramel fudge for me.

  40. And some hot chocolate fudge sauce for me.

  41. They had tubs of both, and a tub of hot custard. There was hot apple crumble, cherry mousse slice, 4 types of sponge cake, both chocolate and vanilla mousse, brownies, jelly cups, 4 types of pudding (including creme brulée), three different flavours of ice cream (and wafer cones), and about 20 types of topping. It was beautiful. Especially the bowls. They actually had huge soup bowls at the dessert bar! There was also a coffee bar, although that was a little annoying. The cups were tiny, and I had to refill every time I went back for more dessert. I’m only supposed to have two cups a day, not 8.

    • Creme brulee is my favorite. What magical place was this?

    • Oh wow. That sounds amazing. What a fabulous thing to do as a BD treat.

  42. It was at the Templestowe Hotel. The Boss and I were the only younger people there, so I felt obliged to have some serious food first (nobody wants to piss off a room full of grandmas), and I must say their sushi was magnificent. I was lying in bed last night craving more of it. This is doubly impressive because I’ve never really liked sushi before. Also, the salad vegetables had a rich flavour that only comes from a farmer’s market. It was so good, I almost went back for a second serve of the buffet. But no, the lure of the dessert bar was too strong. Also, all the grandads were raving about the massive chunks of tender, tasty roast they were getting from the carvery section of the buffet, and I didn’t want to be led into meaty temptation.

    • If I come back, not in Lent, can wer go back for lunch?

  43. Oh, no no no…. if we go anywhere, it has to be this place: https://www.facebook.com/TheRunawayScrape/

    You’ll have the meat sweats before dessert, but it will be soooooo worth it.

  44. I’ll stick with the dessert bar. I don’t see tofu on Smokey’s menu & I have a deep & abiding distrust of savoury sauces. Anything that looks like gastro before you put it into your body can’t possibly augur well for what it’ll look like on the way out.

  45. They do a Southern Comfort barbecue sauce that tastes like…. um…. oh, I can’t describe it. It’s too good for mere words.

    • I’ve never had the meat sweats. It’ll be a new experience!

  46. Meat sweats …. Ask autocorrect for me, are these legwarmers worn by butchers whilst carvng things up in the cold room?

  47. It’s a state of physical discomfort experienced when you eat too much meat. Hypothetically. As previously stated, I’ve never had it. If there was an equivalent for crusty bread, or gelati, I’d know all about it.

  48. It’s similar to that feeling you get when you’ve eaten five slices of CAEK and you don’t want to take up a whole CAEK plate’s worth of space in the fridge for just the last piece, so you eat that too.

  49. I haven’t ever eaten that much meat, or CAEK.

    What have I been doing with my life?

  50. Wasting it.

  51. Apparently. I’m not a huge meat eater, but I could try much harder with CAEK.

  52. Yes. Yes you could.

  53. We had a toast eating competition once at boarding school & that almost set off a fever of delirium in all of the participants.
    I just scored well at the Body Shop, while I was trawling Robina buying wireless underwear. They have discontinued Satsuma, which is my fave, and when I asked if anything had survived the purge, she found two bottles of the body lotion out back & when I swooped on those with the Eft machine, she gave me the 90% full tester bottle for free. It’s a pump action thingy so it shouldn’t carry meningococcal…I’m willing to risk it, anyway.
    Although this may have been her way of telling me I Stink as I’d crawled out of the swamp at Currumbin at 9am & hadn’t been home for a shower.
    I must go forth & reek into other such shops in hope of a handout, more often.

  54. I hope it wasn’t one of those stinky testers, like papaya and aloe. Yuk! But good score on the other stuff! See? It actually can be worth venturing out in public.

  55. Since it hasn’t been sitting out in an infectious diseases ward, I think you’re safe. Consider also the physics of the pump thingy. Stuff goes out of it, not into.

    Hmm. Looks like I’m now completely no fun whatsoever. When did that happen?

  56. No fun. Sounds like my afternoon. I have to attend all those parent teacher interviews I booked last week. Ugh.

  57. Oh no, yuck, why?!

    Actually, I had an informal PTI at the front fence yesterday afternoon. Turns out the lady who lives 3 houses up from us has been teaching TGP ICT all term, but he didn’t think to tell me. Must have been “private”.

  58. LK has been complaining about one bitch teacher in particular, and I was hoping to see her so I could tell her off. She was a bitch when MK had her, too. He got all upset when he found out I planned to slap her down, and said that whenever a parent does that she gets worse. But he needn’t worry. I’ve been trying for three years to book in for an interview with the bitch, but she has yet to show up at a single P/T I/V day – apparently because it’s ‘too stressful’. Yeah, well, if you weren’t such a bitch to all of the students, you wouldn’t get stressed out when every single parent complains about it at the interviews, would you? Bitch.

  59. Hehehe. All of my work is stressful. you don’t see me not turning up.

  60. I’m getting stressed at the mere thought of working. It must be nap time. Or CAEK time. Or CAEK-then-nap time.

  61. Oh, I miss the glory days of afternoon naps. i don’t even usually nap on the weekends any more.

    *sob*

    I am wasting my life, aren’t I?

  62. Yes, yes you are. I haven’t had a nap but I have done a lot of chores and i have just had tea & cake. I feel like I need a nap, because The Bloke got in after 11pm last night & his ridiculous cat threw a nightlong tantrum until he got home. I knew the minute his taxi pulled up outside (from the station, not from GOMA) as the cat started having hysterics on the stairs & she gave him the full ‘What the hell time do you call this then’ lecture before he’d even turned his key in the lock.
    His bambi-on-a-string key is working fabulously well to save me the trouble of letting the fool in when he forgets his usual house keys, though.
    Brilliant idea, those.

    • What on earth is a bambi on a string key?

      And did he see the exhibition and love it?


      • After his last effort of losing/forgetting his key & waking me up at FU o’clock to let him in – and this after my parting words to him that morning were ‘Do you have your key?’ and his ‘Oh yes indeededly doodedly don’t you worry about that, most assuredly I do,’ – it turned out that yes, he did have a key, but it’s the one that opens the door of the house that’s 80km north of this one, at Toad Park.
        So I punished him for his idiocy by getting a special key cut for him. One that he will know for sure belongs to the house on the forest because there are fecking woodland creatures snuggled up on it.
        It’s on a retractable rope/string & is fixed to the inner lining of his work bag with a sturdy pin. You can buy them at the locksmiths if you have males that lose keys, too.
        He’s been showing it off to his workmates on building sites like some sort of badge of honour.
        ‘Look what she did to me when I took the wrong house key & she was pissed off at waking up at 2am to let me in.’
        To irritate me further we do have a key hidden outside but he was so drunk he’d forgotten that & being drunk he wouldn’t have remembered where it was even if he remembered it’s existence.
        How the world ended up in the hands of these idiot men I have No Clue.

      • Don’t know.
        What I do know is that he saw the beer, the white wine, the red wine, the schnappes and the duck pancakes, and when he came in last night he smelled like a petrol bowser.

  63. Well, that Shoplifter installation might have been best appreciated drunk, but the huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge snake skeleton might have given him pause.

  64. LOL! He drinks the Beer Drink, he drinks the Whiskey Drink…. Sorry Q, I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I’ve been in your shoes so many times (albeit without the cat). I didn’t have a cool Bambi key for the Boss, though. I was more inclined to hide all the keys so the Boss didn’t get any drunken ideas about driving to his mates’ houses at 2am.

  65. He made it a very long way home for a drunken man. Did you put a tag on him like Paddington’s Grandma did, too?

    “Please look after this drunk. Thank you.”

    • Our stop is the end of the line & getting on the train from South Bank isn’t that hard. It’s not like he had to find his way to Platform 9 3/4.

  66. “If found, don’t call me until he’s sober”.

  67. “under no circumstances administer a kebab”

  68. I suppose I could use a stamp that says ‘ Mummy loves me regardless what I smell of. Her address is: __________________’
    That’d give him a fright, waking up in her room in the nursing home.

  69. I wonder how the nursing home staff would react to a drunken son banging on the door of the home, demanding to be let in because he’s forgotten his keys!

    • He’s a very endearing drunk, trust me on this. If he wasn’t, he’d be out on the shit-pile with the rest of the Rejected Suitors.

  70. Careful – they might charge you some sort of decontamination fee.

  71. Now I can’t stop laughing at the mental image of the Bloke being squirted and covered in de-lousing powder, a-la Shawshank Redemption.

  72. Although waking up wearing Depends, beside a loaded kidney dish, might stop MIL complaining that he doesn’t visit more often.

    • What you need is to 3D print a Bloke mask and bribe one of the orderlys to wear it.

      • Genius.
        So, how’s the water level at your place, MM?
        I woke up at 3am to heavy rain – glorious. Twitter is telling me that there’s localised creek flooding and already one road out of here is blocked, so the Bloke has gone back to bed for another hour in hopes that the others will have gone under so he can’t reach the train.
        I’m sure they’ll stop running at some point – Brunswick St station is usually the first to go under.

  73. We’re getting a little rain here too. ‘s’nice. The birds are all over everyone’s lawns, digging out those bizarre exploding worms that fascinate the Boss so much.

    • Rain and lots of it, with a side of thunder and lightning in the middle of the night. It’s perfect!

      I hope The Bloke gets a flood day.

      Catty what are the exploding worms and can you get me footage please?

  74. yes, what on earth are they & do they make the fish jump out of the water if you use them to bait your hooks.
    I refused flat out to take the Bloke to the train & predicted at 4.30am that they would have to cancel school today. The Bloke pooh-poohed me & then of course, being an avid local ABC radio listener, that’s exactly what the Premier said.
    He’s looking at me with fresh respect & said ‘I need to learn to listen to you, don’t I?’
    He was rather grumpy at 5am because my follow-up prediction was that the fence at Toad Park will fall down under the weight of the torrent. Oh well. It’s 20 years old & we really should have replaced it a year ago. They’ll survive.

  75. Shortly after we moved into this house, the Boss built a veggie garden in a narrow spot beside the house. We had some rain during the prepping stage, and all the lovely, fresh compost he’d piled into the garden bed was wiggling alarmingly. He pulled out a big, fat worm. It was about 10cm long, and 1cm wide. As he held it up to show me, it popped like a balloon. I’ve seen it dozens of times now! Every time we get a warm soaking rain, these worms come up to the surface and the Boss has a ball pulling them out of the ground and watching them explode. Funny, it’s never occurred to me to film it. Maybe next time he’s out playing with the worms I’ll take my camera.

    Yeah, Q, what is it with men acting all surprised when we’re right yet again? You’d think after all these years they’d have worked it out, seeing as they experience it on a daily basis.

    • Well, being men they’re not very observant.

  76. The Boss likes rubbing it in when I’m wrong, though, so he must see some of what’s going on. It happened the weekend before last, when the house across the street from the in-laws was auctioned. MIL thought it would go for $650K. FIL said $700K. The Boss thought it might go as high as $800K. I told them there was no way that house would go for any less than $840K. The final price was $839K, and the Boss still won’t let me forget how wrong I was. *sigh*

  77. Men!
    I put mine to work scouring the showers & cleaning the toilets, today. Tomorrow when the howling southerlies kick in I’ll have to think of something fun he can do indoors…maybe defrost the fridge.

    • How about dusting the skirting boards? That’s always a tedious task.

      Catty by the time you add in stamp duty etc surely you WERE right?

  78. And the building & pest inspection, and the three grand it’ll cost them for the removalists to get in there.
    I use the duster attachment on the vacuum to do skirting boards, and I avoid wearing my glasses during vacuuming so I don’t get reminded when it needs to be done.
    How’s the post apocalypse in your street, MM?
    You wouldn’t know we’ve had a storm up here, but it was a bit bloody scary last night, the weight of water that crushed down on us during the deluge. I hate to think of what’s happened to anyone caught out in it, and the wildlife.
    The neighbour’s chickens are over here grifting for a second breakfast of bird seed, so at least they haven’t blown away.

    • Its weird up here this morning. Calm and the sun has cone out again like “oh hai”

      We had some scary wind that brought down a passionfriit-laden tea tree branch, no other problems so we were very lucky. Several friends had whole trees come down and take out fences etc

      How did your homemade dam hold up?

  79. Yes, tell us Q! Did the deluge end up in Wendy’s basement? She would be so happy, having two pools for the price of one.

  80. Hehehehehehee. You bad, Catty.
    My dam seems to have done a good job -it’s stopped Wendy’s stream from flowing under the fence in towards our house, & her water seems to have kept moving along the side of her house & down towards the street. I haven’t looked over the fence so I don’t know how bad it got in there. She’s been unnaturally quiet & subdued & the only sign that things are not as they should be is the reek of carpet shampoo wafting out her windows & in through ours.
    But that might not be flood waters…that might be from the dog, unable to find a dry corner of her yard to shit in.
    I’d imagine it is rather wet in there.
    The rain got so intense last night that it started blowing the lids off the metal stormwater drains at the bottom of the street.
    We went out for a walk early this morning & stopped to talk to the Canadians on the corner behind the House of Wax – perhaps I should rename that Hooker House in deference to the real estate name on her car – & they got some water in their garage, so they were brooming it out as we walked past. Nothing worse to report, though. Pretty impressive considering 780ml fell in the hinterland over the last two days.
    Meanwhile, the Bloke is working from home today & he’s on my computer, so I might have limited internet access as the ipad is having hissy fits about connecting to the wi-fi.
    Apple sent me an email advertising the new iPad yesterday. I’m sure they organise ipad glitches via remote whenever there’s a new one on the market so you go ‘Fugggit’ & just go out & buy a new one.
    Bastards.
    Anyway, I think the shops at Robina might still be shut, as huge chunks of the roads in & out of there were flooded yesterday. And they’re still asking people to stay home & stay off the roads, as they anticipated there’d be a lot more run-off flooding on the high tide between 10-11am.

  81. I’m glad you were as lucky as us I spent all day saying “oh, it’s not as bad as Australia Day a few years ago” – but around dusk it got quite terrifying.

  82. Yes, the entire northern wall of the master bedroom is glass, so I was a bit worried that if the wind picked up, some sort of projectile would come straight through it. We’re in a little bit of a hollow, though, so the full force of the wind goes over us rather than gunning for us.
    I hate to think what the cyclone was like at it’s fiercest point, given the noise it made as it’s leftovers passed over us. We got the heaviest rain from 9-11, but I fell asleep before 7pm & it was pretty full on even by then.
    We’re incredibly impressed with all the infrastructure that Stockland has put in up here to manage it. When we walked around our end of the suburb this morning it was just a bit damp – the duck ponds were calm & the water lillies were opening up to the sun & you really would never have known that there’d been such a fierce storm. It all just drained away with remarkable efficiency.

  83. I’ve been worried about you lot, so I’m glad you’re all unscathed. I’m not, though. Here’s the story: The Boss sold something on eBay, to a woman in NSW. I posted the item on the 21st. By the next morning it was over the other side of Melbourne, in Sunshine. By that night it was two suburbs across from there, in Ardeer. The next afternoon (23rd) it showed up in Chullora NSW, a couple of suburbs away from the Buyer. All good so far…. then it gets weird. For some reason best known only to Australia Post, they spent the next five days transporting the parcel all the way from Sydney to Townsville, where it arrived late afternoon on the 28th. It’s been sitting there ever since. Understandably, the Buyer is pretty annoyed and has been calling and emailing, so I rang Australia Post and asked “What the hell?”. They cited human error.

    So I asked when will they be sending the parcel back to Sydney for delivery? Their answer was, “the postal service in QLD has been suspended indefinitely due to the cyclone and subsequent flooding, so we really don’t know”. Um, hey guys, you drove the parcel from Sydney to Townsville IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRICKIN’ CYCLONE, don’t you DARE tell me you can’t get it back again because it’s raining. Seriously! They would have had to pass through Proserpine right when Debbie made landfall, for it to get to Townsville in the late afternoon.

    The Buyer is almost certainly going to ask for a refund. But the Boss already spent the money buying parts for the munted Astra. AAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!

    My rage at Australia Post has inspired a new business idea. I propose that we start a company that sells customisable punching bag inflatable dolls. The doll itself would be a standard one of these:

    http://www.fishpond.com.au/c/Toys/q/Inflatable+Punching+Bag+Toys

    The customisable part would be the face. We could print out pictures of the faces CEO’s of companies like Australia Post and Telstra, onto plastic sheets that can be fastened onto the punching bags. We could do a line of politicians, or even offer an Ex service if people want to upload a photo of their ex.

    Right now, I’d buy two with the Australia Post CEO’s face. I’d need two, because I would utterly destroy the first one before I was done punching.

    Hmmmm…. two for one deal, maybe?

  84. Oh FFS, that’s ridiculous. Sounds like standard fare with their ganja bus, though. Remember when it took my ‘I brake for Wildlife’ sticker 6 weeks to get here from Victoria, and that was in our long dry summer? Aust Post kept returning it to the sender. Nutso.
    Catty, can you get the tracking number & such & contact details of the person at Aust Post & get your buyer to speak to them? It might go a long way to reassuring him/her that she’s not been ripped off and that eventually Australia post will get the item to her.
    We all have to be a little more patient during times of crisis & 90% of the population accept that these things happen.

  85. Yes, I’ve asked them to start an investigation/recovery, and I gave them permission to discuss the progress with the Buyer. But today when I looked, the Buyer’s query was registered, and mine wasn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if my request for an investigation is languishing in Darwin somewhere.

    • That’s mental. And goes a long way towards explaining their operating loses, also.

      So what exactly is wrong with the new Astra?

  86. One of the coils under a spark plug had burned out. It must have been on the way out when we bought the car, because they’d replaced that one plug with a longer one with the end bent out a bit to reach the reduced spark. The salesman at Supercheap* Auto suggested that might be the problem, and when the Boss checked it out on Youtube he was right. All it needed was the coil and some new spark plugs – he couldn’t use the old ones because one of them was the wrong size. We got the eBay coil on Friday and the car’s been running like a dream ever since. Yay for the Boss! He’s a treasure, that man. But we all knew that.

    (*not an accurate representation of their prices)

    • I’ve always wondered what a coil was. Lucky it was an easy fix. You’re happy with it otherwise?

  87. I’ve been calling it the Tardis. It has no engine temperature display, it beeps at me all the time, the levers do what they want whenever they want, and the panel of knobs and switches for air and music etc, actually looks like a dalek. Let’s just say it wasn’t the car I wanted…. but the Boss loved it so that’s what we got.

  88. Well, at least you’ve got a car again, and Aust Post are taking responsibility for their stuff up.

  89. Well that’s odd. Instead of making typos, now Stupid Phone is swallowing comments altogether.

    As long as it keeps getting you from A to B and some idiot at a roundabout doesn’t take it out, we’ll be grateful for compact mercies.

  90. Yes, I’m very grateful. I’m also grateful for school holidays. In a few minutes, instead of driving the kidlets to school, I get to go back to bed for an early morning nap. Yay!

  91. It’s so relaxing. not having to drag them out of bed in the mornings. Now, I only have MYSELF to drag out of bed.

  92. Naptime’s over. Now I have to look for a job. If anyone points out that I’m sitting at the computer blogging instead of reading the Situations Vacant, I shall throw my half-eaten cupcake at them.

  93. Apply for my job. go on, I dare you!

  94. I have been designing my own breakfast muffins down at our favourite Hipster cafe & he’s decided he likes my combo so much he’s going to put it on the menu. I”m hoping he’ll name it after me. ‘The Quokka Burger’.
    Hmm… I wonder if I can get a job as a menu planner? I could sit around all day & plot fabulous food combinations. Surely in this mixed up, muddied up, crazy soggy world of ours, someone is stupid enough to pay me for that?

  95. Go on Master Chef. I dare you!

  96. Oh, you should totally go on Masterchef. They wouldn’t know what hit them.

  97. I’d watch it. I’d pay to watch it!

  98. Television…urk. Not that I’m in that league anyway. But reality TV is the antichrist & I don’t go anywhere near it.

  99. Agreed. I get far too much reality in my life. I watch TV to ESCAPE from it.

  100. TV gets worse every year. It’s predictable, sensationalist and dreadfully unsatisfying. Much like the food displayed in the ads for those stupid, annoying Australian cooking shows. Ugh. I wouldn’t spit on half of the stuff they rave about – although I am sorely tempted to spit on the competitors. And don’t get me started on those marriage shows that dominate my ad breaks. 7 year switch? Married at first sight? The Bachelor/ette? Bugger off. If I want to watch idiots humiliating themselves, I’ll watch Question Time.

  101. We have become cranky old women. I’m proud of us.

  102. COWS, and proud.
    (Cranky old woman syndrome)

  103. Now we need to be COWS with guns!

  104. “We will run free, with the Wildebeest, or DIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!”

    Gee thanks, Madam. Like I needed another ear worm.

  105. That’s a good one, though. Or “Asshole”.

  106. Catty could write us a new one. Cows with assholes?

  107. Speaking of Assholes, there’s a TV show that follows the highway patrol around the streets. MK posted to FB a snippet from an episode of the show where they’re driving around Knockers. One of the two Assholes they followed was speeding through a school zone (doing 62 instead of 40kph) and then completely ignored the policewoman’s siren, flashing lights and horn. She blithely kept driving and eventually stopped in a carpark. The copper was furious! The second Asshole overtook someone on the left because they were stopped at a red light, which he drove straight through, and he also ignored the sirens and refused to pull over. The copper was ropable by then, but I’m not surprised. That’s normal driving in this area. Anyway, MK just told me that the speeding driver’s son is one of her school friends. Sheesh, if a parent won’t even slow down for her own kid’s school zone, who will?

    • Perhaps they’d had enough of junior’s bs and were hoping to collect him?

  108. One of the VCE kids from their school was collected last year. He was in hospital for 4 months and the doctors said he’d never walk again, but he was walking by Christmas and this year he’s back at school repeating VCE. Kids just don’t listen, do they?

  109. I often go through the school zone in the Tally Valley with someone roaring up my arse pressuring me to speed. The worst of them was a young man with a toddler in a baby capsule. Since my father died under the wheels of a car I like to think I’m reasonably safety conscious about such things, but I have to watch myself that I don’t drift off with the fairies & give in to the tailgater pressure.
    Parents usually are the worst offenders in those school zones, though.

  110. A friend of mine was a crossing guard at the local primary school. His list of near-death experiences with crazed drivers was massive. For the first few months he was taking down licence plate numbers and reporting them to the council, but eventually gave up when he realised that his long daily list of idiots was being completely ignored. These days he works as a shelf stacker at Woolies, and says that some of the local mothers drive their shopping carts like they drive their 4WD’s. I’ve taken to calling him Dodge. He doesn’t like it, but I just won’t stop.

    • Its not just speeding, the number of mums they’ve caught well over the limit at pickup… sometimes even drop- off time is terrifying.

      No wonder kids don’t do their homework. Mum’s too sloshed to help them. .

  111. Some of their homework assignments are enough to drive a mum to drink.

  112. Amen to that.
    I’m still thoroughly enjoying being away from that demographic. We’ve had blissful silence and the occasional sound of happy children playing courteously on the scooters, out on the street. I don’t think I could ever cope with another neighbourhood like Toad Park where the resident families just shout & swear at each other. Even Wendy has been uncharacteristically silent. The Bloke thinks she’s medicated – presumably, with lithium.
    I think it might be something I said. For a few weeks there she was intent on making a horrible racket, with everything she had. Music, Hamish & Andy Podcasts, 80s pub rock on pandora, and the television. After one particularly appalling day, where she’d obviously turned the ghetto blaster on us just to be a bitch, I waited for a moment of silence when I knew she was eavesdropping & I made a concerned comment to the Bloke about how we needed to tread carefully because she’s obviously suffering from Bipolar II.
    The BS stopped that very day & we haven’t heard peep out of her since. So if she’s not medicated for bipolar II, then she’s googled it & is intent on proving to us that she doesn’t have the slightest trace of it.
    Heeheeeheeheeeheee.
    I did a similar thing with Mrs. Flanders back at the previous house. It’s amazing how therapeutic pretending to be normal can actually be. I must try it some time & see if it’s a good fit for me.

  113. I tried being normal once. It was sooooo boring.

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