Melbourne Countdown

Cold KittyCat,jpg

By the CERN-level accuracy of my calculations, I think there’s only one month until I join some of you in glorious Melbourne.   Since my own preparations tend to be last minute and slapdash at best, help me work out what the heck I’m doing and what the heck I have to take.

Oh, and will the Spiegeltent still be there?


321 Responses

  1. I can hardly wait! There shall be much feasting and quaffing in your honour. Remember to pack earplugs, though. Otherwise you’ll be deafened by the sound of your own teeth chattering.

  2. Mmm … quaffing.

  3. And possible hijinks. Woot!

  4. I’m a bit old for hijinks, but I could attempt a couple of lojinks.

  5. Lojinks would be best, seeing as you will be fraternising with friends in low places.

  6. Yes, there will be less far to travel in the Arctic environs.

  7. Thanks MM. This should time out well, you’ll have lots of fab photos of cake erm I mean your holiday by the time we’ve cluttered up this thread sufficient to constipate the screen on my ipad.
    That is one very cute cat.
    carry on, all.

  8. Poor cat. The more I look at him, the more I’d like to knit him something to keep off the snow.

  9. If I know cats, that’s not snow. It’s icing sugar, and you probably shouldn’t go into the pantry.

  10. so we were right when we thought it was frost(ing)?

  11. you are one cool dude, MM.

  12. Ice-econd that.

    • hahahahaha you velly funny lady.

    • Aunt Prudences house?! Yes please! Will Fifi come too., I’ll acquire tickets forthwith.

      • No no! I get cheap ones through the RACV membership. I did think of a family ticket and passing you off as our daughter but you’d have to look bored and sulky.

      • I can do bored and sulky. But you have to let me pay.

      • Ooh yesss. You’ll pay….

    • Oh wow. Photos and eat a piece of cake for me, please.

  13. Oops. You meant the tickets didn’t you? Aha. Sure, fine.

    • Hehehe. I’m knitting s scarf, but thanks for the timely reminder to refresh my amulets as well.

  14. Make sure you tell us when you’re due there so that Catty & I can do bored & sulky, too.

  15. I’ll pot a picture of our Devonshire tea in the lavish grounds. That will do the trick nicely.

  16. Purrfect. I must get there one day.
    I must also get to GOMA for the Marvel universe exhibit, that looks…well, bloody Marvellous.

  17. Oh yes. Much excitement about that one in our household too. Maybe we can co-ordinate our visits?

  18. Um, there’ll be a lot of weapons and dangerous alien technology at this gig. Does your youngest have Hannibal Lecter variety restraints in Teen Angst size, yet?

  19. Now that he’s so efficient at cursing people by verbal ill-wish, he hardly ever shoots anyone anymore.

  20. I’ve finally worked out my schedule for that week. It turns out the dancing events are both on the 17th, the weekend before. But I’d still like to stick with Sunday for CAEKing. On the Wednesday of your visit, I have my introductory seminar at the pain management clinic. Finally! I was seriously considering buying shares in Panadol. All my other appointments for the week (so far) are for Thursday and Friday, but I’ll let you know if anything new is added between now and then.

    On the pain thing, I hate to sound like a whiny little princess about it, but I really don’t think I’m physically up to going around the Van Gogh exhibition. There’s other stuff I can do though, like have you over to the hovel for dinner one night, or lunch if that’s easier? My cooking isn’t too flash, but most people find their taste buds go into horrified shock after the first few mouthfuls so you should be all right, and we always have Nexium on hand to deal with the aftershock.

    I also would love an op-shop tour if you have the time. Last time we went to my favourite places – if Fifi is willing then maybe we could visit some of hers? I’d love to know where she and GB get all their cool stuff.

    Have Melbo and Mayhem RSVP’d yet?

  21. Catty you have my undivided sympathy for the art gallery refusal. I feel your pain, quite literally.
    Two GPs now have looked at my damaged foot & told me there is no sign of arthritis & no need to x-ray it – although they do want to ray my shoulder & my right wrist to find out why it’s so hard for me to hold a pen. (Um, aside from 20 years of walking crooked on the bad foot, there’s 20 years of being a remedial massage therapist = arthritis, duh) and yet when I was in at the osteo the other day & I mentioned it, he immediately prodded the joint behind my big toe (ouch and farken) & said ‘Are they blind? Look at the difference between this joint & the one on the other foot, and this is standard osteo-arthritis that you see in people who’ve had foot injuries.’
    Some days I wonder why witches aren’t given the recognition they deserve & then I remember it’s because the outstandingly good ones tend to embarass the establishment by showing them up.

  22. It doesn’t help that there are so very many charlatans out there. Belle Gibson comes to mind. Did you see that she has started up another health business?:

  23. Urgh. Isn’t there enough horror in the world without adding links to that?

  24. I might just bookmark it, for the next time one of my teeth develops a cavity.

    • Ok sounds great! We haven’t really got an agenda yet but GB mentioned some place they’ve discovered that has antiques AND caek so naturally I insisted on a visit. Perhaps you can come to that and we can add in Fifi’s faves as well. And dinner or lunch sounds perfectly digestible. I eat my own cooking mostly without ill effect.

      Q I’d ask some searching questions about what they imagine they could do with the results of a shoulder Xray. If it’s not incapacitating enough for you to contemplate surgery… And there’s no such thing as a shoulder replacement anyway… Then it’s just an intellectual excuse for them and no benefit for you in the radiation exposure.

  25. Yeah it’s just an excuse to get me to piss off so she doesn’t have to write me a medical certificate for uni. The osteo said to play the game as he’s long thought there may be something going on in my right shoulder & if so at least I’ll know.
    I get irradiated every year for the family breast cancer history anyway so what the hell. I don’t plan to live long enough to die of cancer anyway. Trip to Mexico & if I can’t get the Nembutal I’m sure there’s an obliging form of low life who could take me out for a fee.

  26. Yep. My “good” shoulder has become intermittently sore as a boil and I suspected arfuritis. But I had an Xray and ultrasound and it turned out to be bursitis. The GP jabbed it with cortisone which may have given some very temporary relief or it may have been a coincidence. Either way it’s back. I just keep the joint warm (odd for me) and exercise with some wood splitting and stuff and it doesn’t get too bad. Being old(er) sucks a bit though.

    • Yes those shots can do wonders. And since the shiatsu therapist does such a good job of helping this, I’m sure it is something inflammatory, otherwise the remedial massage would do SFA for it.

  27. Oh, the cold! It’s horridbull. You’re going to need more than a scarf, Morgana. You’re going to need a selk’bag.

    • Pfft. I’m sitting outside Hamer Hall listening to jazz clarinet and drinking coffee. And just up the road is a huge German sausage with my name on it.

      • Also there’s a market.

      • Sausage market?! I also wish to visit the sausage market!

      • Alas no. More a crafty market with some quite good food stalls. But it was a good morning. Current temp with wind chill is about 7 so herself is toasting her toes by the fire and reading.

  28. Mmm….you had me at food stalls. How were the toasted toes, did you have Toe Jam on them once they were done?

    • Fifi is a tasty bit of crumpet.

    • Eeww no! The secret with toes is to scrub them thoroughly with a potato brush before toasting.

  29. It’s all right for you, GB, you’ve lived through an ice age. The rest of us are used to tropical QLD, not arctic wastelands.

    • Ix-nay on the Ammoth-may.

    • Heey! There’s nothing wrong with hairy elephants.

  30. No response from GB…. I mastadon something to offend him….

    I’ll see myself out, shall I?

    • How sharper than a sabre tooth…

    • I didn’t know how to type an icy glare…

  31. **** >>>>>

    the asterisks are snowflakes, and the greater thans are the daggers.

  32. Any glare in this weather is an icy glare. Good gracious it’s cold out there! I was just out rummaging through somebody’s discarded brass collection, and I swear there was a neutered monkey in the pile. I didn’t grab it, though. Too much temptation for the Wildebeest.

    • Good call. He’s not reliable, below the waist.

  33. True. I swear, if I have to tase him one more time, I’m going to start charging him for electricity.

  34. Well that does explain some of the static electricity he generates in this weather.

  35. TGP is carrying on like the third act of La Boheme and Gigantor and i have got the sniffles. I hope I’m getting it out of my system before glorious Melbourne! On the upside, the guinea pigs are in rude good health.

    How’s everyone else faring, with winter nigh?

  36. The rarely seen fourth monkey in the set. The one covering his groin?

  37. Monkey Unboxed?

  38. I came here to ask a question about polishing brass, but if I do that now, right after GB’s comment, it would sound way too risqué for my inner prude.

    • “Cheetah! The Brasso bottle is empty again. Show me your paws.”

  39. I’ve got answers to all your brass polishing questions … don’t.

    Brass was HUGE in the 70s, as I recall. i used to help with the polishing. i can still recall the stench of Brasso from here.

  40. One Youtube video displays how tomato ketchup is equally as effective as Brasso, but I dare not do that or the Teenie will start licking it.

  41. Also messier and arguably no more cost effective.

  42. MIL used to have a lot of brass, so I asked her. “Brasso” was the reply, so I went back to Youtube. Turns out all I had to do was cut up a lemon, dip the wedge in a bowl of salt, and scrub it over the brass. It worked, but now I want Tequila.

  43. So do I. Although Vodka might be more suitable for office consumption.

  44. A potato in every shot. Five shots and there’s your daily recommended vegetable intake. Good choice!

  45. So a Bloody Mary is a salad? Whacko!

  46. Who are we whacking?
    I can’t keep up, the list is long.

  47. I’m too tired to whack. Someone make me a Espresso Martini.

  48. Will CAEK do? I has CAEK.

  49. We just had caek. Possibly too much. It was a white chocolate mudcaek from the Cheesecake Shop that seemed delicious on the way past my taste-buds, but seems to not have made friends with my tummy,

  50. Dang about the indigestion but nonetheless…..Cake, oooh. Was that the white-gold mudcake? I’ve missed that, but I prefer their caramel mudcake.

    • We had the caramel mudcake last month. It is most excellent.

  51. Still, the White-Gold is a great favourite of mine & I am surprised it would disagree with you. I wonder if you’ve got a touch of the tummy bug. I had it before Easter & yesterday at coffee the dog school folk were saying it had been afflicting the northern rivers folk.
    Feel better soon, MM. You don’t want that one.

  52. Oh, don’t blame the poor, innocent cheesecaek. It’s probably just your stomach practising for when it has to endure my cooking. I hope you feel better soon too.

  53. We had Fifi’s slow cooked osso bucco for dinner and sopped up the juices with the remains of PB & my bread. Hope your tum is in good form for Melbourne Madam – you may be giving it a workout.
    Also I got up at 10 am this morning (also 11pm, 3, 5 and 7am – ouchy cramps) but surprisingly able to move most of my bits. Shifting a ton+ of wet wood by hand isn’t recommended, especially when it’s raining.

  54. “Sopped up the juices with the remains of PB…” Oh. Oh dear.

  55. I always knew the state of origin had the potential to rouse cannibalistic tendencies in the susceptible.

  56. Curse my inappropriate apostrophes and possessives! Happy to confirm that PB is well and intact. If occasionally slightly nibbled.

  57. How did she taste? I’m asking for a friend…. possibly Morgana.

  58. I would never eat the darling girl … but I would splurt her belly, repeatedly.

    We were without internet all day yesterday while they installed the NBN. Oh, the humanity! It was terrible. Mind you, now I’m connected again I’m not doing much, but at least I’m in touch with the rest of the world as I muck around.

  59. I hope you stay connected. NBN came to our street a few weeks ago, and now our internet and phone calls keep dropping out randomly. It’s bloody annoying.

  60. i could cope, with my knitting and Kindle pre-loaded, but i won’t tell the boys, they’ll have withdrawal spasms.

  61. Oh the horror. Remember the Hellstra ditch witch parked in my driveway while they went out for pies & coke?

  62. Oh, yes. Had to take Gigantor to the doc yesterday arvo, and we drove off to the desolate sign of no truck, a big spool of I assume fibre-optic cable, and no workers. But they came through just after 5, so as long as it’s still on when I go home this afternoon I have no complaints.

  63. We had half an hour with no internet just after dinner. It was not pleasant. I had no idea the Teenie knew so many swear words.

    • And how will he learn more with no Urban Dictionary?! The humanity!

      So far so good, we’ve remained connected since Thursday’s Outage Atrocity.

  64. There was a thing on telly about addiction to devices last night. They reckon that the symptoms exhibited when a person loses their internet access or phone use is the same as a heroin addict. It’s scary – how long will it be before Bill Gates works out how to inject the internet straight into us? He already made a microchip implant for drugs, so an internet implant can’t be far away.

    • Yeah i know what you mean. Personally I’m so grateful my kids could spend their younger years iPad free. We’ll always have Lego and playdough memories.

    • Wait! An INTERNET IMPLANT?? Just let me roll up my sleeve. What do you mean, “drop ’em and bend over”?

      • Be careful. It might not be compatible with your operating system.

      • Ha, Greybeard has been afflicted with iWant

      • I can think of some people who could use a personality upgrade and reboot, but GB is not one of them.

      • I asked my operating system and she just rolled her eyes. Again.

  65. If GB is walking funny next time I see him, I will NOT be putting my hand up for the Mac-enabled version.

    • If we wipe his Windows, does that count as defenestration?

  66. Bugger that. I don’t even wipe my own windows.

  67. I need a window slave here, too. That reminds me, we finally had a tiler here yesterday to quote on the kitchen island benches. It’s only taken a year to entice a good one – the last one strung us along for months before finally admitting that he doesn’t do jobs less than 300m2.
    So it looks like next weekend should be tradie time, here.
    Woohoo. Can’t wait for the bluestone to go up, it should look amazing. I wanted the colour-scheme to have a feel of stormy ocan – hence the greys & blues & that off white reconstituted flecked stone.
    Gradually making progress, here, at our usual snail pace. Everyone says the same thing, though, it’s really hard to get a tradie in to do a small job – they’re all busy in teams building houses and units.

  68. A friend of mine always goes straight to the Grey Army. They’ve never let her down, and they do a wonderful job. If there’s a Grey Army near you, it might be worth giving them a call.

    • And Lord knows it will give their poor wives a break, too.

  69. Hopefully not their hips.

    • Shudder.

      That’s one none of us want. We’d better undertake some prophylaxis. Cheesecake is high in calcium, right?

  70. And cheese flavoured chips.

  71. And scorched almonds. Almonds are full of calcium, then they coat them in chocolate. They should be on the PBS.

  72. I made chocolate brownies with toasted macadamias, and topped with chocolate coated Brazil nuts on the weekend. That counts, right?

  73. Yes, yes it does. So much so that I think I’ll get some peanut brittle in hopes it will fix the filling that fell out of my tooth after the ditzy hygienist scraped it off when she was cleaning them last week.
    Well, I’m off for my nerve conduction tests – pray for me, it means taking the M1 up to southport – and then this arvo I’m back at the dentist.
    You’ll all just have to amuse yourself without me. Feel free to join the dog with his chew toys, downstairs locked in his dungeon.

  74. Where did you get chocolate Brazil nuts? They sound sensational!

    Q, that sounds like a shocking Monday. Still, at least it’s getting all the nasties out of the way early in the week. Good luck!

  75. I coated the Brazil nuts myself. I probably should have toasted them first, but that would have meant having to wait longer to eat them. They are very nommy. Sometimes I dip one half in milk chocolate and the other half in white chocolate. Once I even did the first dip in dark and the second dip into strawberry. It was good, but difficult. Some bastard* kept taste-testing the strawberry chocolate so there wasn’t enough for the whole bag of nuts.


    Good luck with your testing, Quokka. I might be doing a similar test soon, if the nerve-pain-killers they’ve just prescribed me work. (If they don’t work, it’s not nerve pain and I won’t need the test). Tell me how it goes, so I know in advance if it’s going to be unpleasant.

  76. Lyrica, by any chance? That’s the stuff those girls in Gigantor’s class OD’d on, recently. Apparently it’s meant to be like Ecstasy, in very high doses. Wheee!

  77. Grumble about doctors at Catty’s blog so I will sum it all up with ‘Meh’ here. The dentist shouldn’t be a drama, there’s a slight chip out of one of my back molars, it falls out with irritating regularity & just requires glue & a wasted afternoon to pop it back in.
    It’s the last day of good SUP weather on the creek is all.
    Sniff. So I’ve missed out.
    Tomorrow is skin doctor day in Brisbane so I’ll be out early for my bi-annual Barnacle Scraping.
    Catty the electric shocks didn’t bother me (conversations with Telstra & Aust Post are far more jarring on my nerves) & I had him in fits of giggles with CWA cake stories. The GP had told me he was a bit of an ASD personality so not to take it personally if he was distant & clinical. So either cake is the universal ice-breaker or else ASD folk think I fit right in with their own brand of weirdness.
    Possibly both.
    He was impressed with my use of the word ‘Maven’ in relationship to cakes so I think that got his attention, he said he’d be googling it before the next patient walked in.
    Plus side, I may have another fan cheering for me in the cake cabinet at the Mudgeeraba show.

  78. When is the Mudgeeraba show? Now you have a splashback I should come down and cheer you on in person.

  79. Yeah, cheer her on in person…. nothing to do with taste testing, no, not at all!

    Yes it is Lyrica. I’m on the smallest dose. The Dr told me the biggest dose is 500mg, 3 times a day, and I’m on 25mg once a day. I haven’t had any Wheeee! moments, though. Bugger. Why do teenagers have all the fun?

    • To be fair, they were falling off the furniture in Sicial Studies. At least we don’t have to go to Social Studies.

  80. They call it Civics down here, and you’re right. Ugh.

    • Or Geography. Or (shudder) maths!

      suddenly I’m quite glad to be old.

  81. MK was trying to explain the difference between the geometric and the arithmetic equations for sequences. I didn’t understand, possibly because I kept scurrying away from her, saying “STOP MATHING AT ME! STOP IT! NOOOOOOO!”

  82. i didn’t know she hated you. What a horrible thing for her to do.

  83. She does like to torment me. I keep comforting myself with the knowledge that one day she will have teenagers of her own. Mwaha-ha-ha-haaaaa!

  84. And you’ll have darling grandchildren! I can’t wait, myself. Babies you can hand back are the best babies.

  85. Having a DIL to torture is an added bonus. Red cordial for all the grandbabies!

  86. Save some for me. I’ll need accelerants, at that age.

    • Where – hypothetically – might one obtain such a useful substance? Asking for an older friend.

      • Try the local skate ramp.

      • I bought diet lime coola cordial by mistake in Coals the other day & I’m tempted to tip it in the lawn mower & see what happens. Artificial sweeteners, ugh.
        Um, Mudgeeraba show is on the last weekend of the month, so if you want to come down any time on Saturday let me know & I will make up the Box Room…erm, the guest room. That sounds like fabulous fun, I could introduce you to the hippie burgers at Bonogin, too. Or the super-sushi, as the case may be.
        I have yet to install metal detectors by the front door & the dog hasn’t yet learned Advanced Beaglery fertilzer bomb detection as per the airport sniffer dogs, so what would that terrifying youngest child of yours get up to, is all. I’m assuming the eldest would refuse to accompany you to a CWA household in the hinterland on principle (that being that we don’t have mobile reception & I’ll be sending home sugary leftovers with you so why would he leave his mancave anyway)
        I’ll be madly assembling stuff up until 4pm on Friday & then I think I need to help the ladies set up the room, but I think the gates open on Saturday at 9am. You’d have to google it – I’m on the ipad, so I can’t post links.
        I just made it to the last bit of our monthly CWA meeting because Brisbane, Skin Doc (all clear, yay) & Dentist at The Gap – he had to make up a new mouthguard for me out of crushed beetle shells & organic resin. Worth the hike because it doesn’t reek of chemicals.
        I made it through Spaghetti Junction at Too Wong, so your prezzie is safely tucked away in a plastic bag on a tea tray outside the ‘rents’ house. Let’s hope I got that right & it hasn’t already been consumed by an insomniac possum or the dog. And if it survives the inevitable Turkey Ambush, I do hope you enjoy it.
        Now, WTF was I talking about? I’m sure there was a question I meant to answer.
        Never mind, it’s the M1. More sugar & more tea & I’ll remember, I’m sure.

  87. Nooo … I’ll be in Melbourne! OK, you’ll have to send constant still and video updates so we can admire you from afar.

    Thanks and I’ll alert the Rents to call off the turkeys. Mum was fussing about broken glass (broken glass?!) so I hope you emerged unscathed?

  88. Yes, we’re stealing Morgana that weekend, Quokka. Yay! Moar Morgana! (Moargana?) But that is a good reminder – I’ve got her present all wrapped but I’ve still not gone to the PO to send it. Better get that done first thing tomorrow, seeing as Aust Post are sure to leave it sitting in the Hobart processing centre for at least a week before reluctantly allowing it into QLD.

  89. I’d be keeping it there so I could enjoy the expression of pleasure on her face when she opens it. But that’s me & I take twisted satisfaction in watching people open presents.
    bugger about the timing, I’d clear forgotten your holiday dates. But yes, we must all promise blog photos. Catty you can just list the catalogue from the chocolate shops if that’s too much for you.

  90. Bugger, I forgot that half-written blog post. I must go and finish that when I have a decent chunk of spare time.

    Yeah, I thought about hanging on to Moargana’s present, but that would take up essential chocolate space in her carry-on luggage. And we can’t have that now, can we?

    • And Van Gogh merch and whatever we find at that antique and caek place of GB’s.

      I’m going to need a bigger suitcase. And probably an overdraft.

  91. Good point.
    Well, I have a play date with a GF today so I’ll have to hoof into the chores so it’s civilised before she gets here.
    I want some of those elves that clean up after the little ferals at Hogwarts.

    • Dobby’s a free agent these days. Make him seen offer.

  92. Didn’t he end up buried on a beach? I think the nasty one from Sirius Black’s house might be available, but I can probably generate enough ill humour without having a cantankerous elf adding to it.
    Bathroom cleaning – meh.

  93. Isn’t it about time those cats of yours earned their keep? Get scrubbing, kitteh!

  94. You’re right. Vale Dobby.

    I’ve seen Baby Mops., How about you get a microfibre coat for Cooper and then teach him to roll over?

  95. Go with microfibre dog undies. Then when he scoots along on his bum, your floor gets clean instead of dirty.

  96. That’s only if he has worms. Or anal gland issues. I’m sure he’s far to good a boy to have either.

  97. Hey, have you ever noticed that the & symbol looks like a person dragging his bum along the floor? I have, and now I can’t un-notice it.

  98. Tell me about it! Our work logo could be an Olympic-style torch. But once you’ve seen thong underwear after an exceptionally hot curry…

  99. Never wear a thong when you’re having Indian food! That’s the Second Rule of Curry! (The First Rule of Curry is to put at least two rolls of Sorbent in the freezer before you leave for the restaurant.)

  100. Ice-cream enema?

  101. Sorry but we’ve switched to “Who Gives A Crap?”. Charity-supporting loo paper that’s made from bamboo.

  102. One of the Boss’s co-workers used to go for number twos every day right after smoko, and stay in there for an hour. The boys thought it would be funny to go in during smoko and remove all the paper. Co-worker came out swearing some time later, and told the boys they owed him a pair of socks. Ewwwww!

    • Oddly enough I also have bamboo socks – coincidence?

  103. What a bunch of pricks, I hope they all develop Crohn’s disease as karma.
    Speaking of novelty toilet paper, have you seen the ‘dump with trump’ brand? Very funny, but I’m not paying $4 per roll to import that from China.

  104. We use Who Gives A Crap too, GB. I like my arse to have s social conscience.

    Speaking of bamboo I didn’t get to Aldi yesterday. Did you score some Reggies, Catty?

  105. Yes. Yes I did. But only just – I was there before 9 but there was already a crowd pawing through the packets. It’s a good thing I have sharp elbows and no social graces.

  106. Not to mention deadly gas.

    • Don’t mention the as-gay.

      Wait! No! That didn’t turn out as I expected.

  107. Funny, that’s what mother always says about me. I wouldn’t mind, if it weren’t for the bitter, crushing disappointment in her voice.

    • You don’t need her you’ve got us. No I was trying to encourage you. Don’t cry.

  108. Oh that’s perfectly normal. Don’t tell me you haven’t perfected that tone for your own kids? Poor kids will be wondering where they went wrong.

  109. Also Madam, the reaction to that pic of Hamish in the crisp white shirt, vest and bow tie was priceless. His father is a ZZ Top-bearded Death Metal lover and seeing his wee lad looking like a preppie just about popped his foofle valve. Well worth a few bucks at H&M. In-laws can be such fun.

  110. For those playing at home – how to tease a metal fan:

    • Project for my visit – find him a little tweed jacket and sew leather patches on the elbows.

    • “Gin and tonic, Jeeves!”. Too adorable!

  111. Bwahahahahaha. Needs a pipe & one of those tartan hats from the Sherlock Holmes era to really tip Dad into apoplexy, though.
    Catty, if it’s any consolation, my mother thought I wasn’t entirely human. She called Dad ‘it’ after they split up – no doubt referring to the hidden Aboriginal ancestry, as she wasn’t pleased at learning of it – and she promptly took me doctor shopping to have my head measured & to have everything tested to see if I’d be mentally defective.
    Some of us just have psycho mothers & you have to constantly remind yourself that you are strong and brave and resourceful to have survived the steady emotional abuse they heaped upon you.
    My biggest fear isn’t that she was right but that one day I will turn into her. Just keep fighting the good fight to ward off the werewolf DNA & you’ll be fine, Darl.

    • Yes just comfort yourself in the knowledge that even on a bad day you’re a much better mother than she was.

  112. Thanks, guys. My Autie is going through a rough patch, and it’s hard. Maybe if I’d dressed him in a vest and tie when he was a little Hamish, I’d have an investment banker by now…. wait, that would be worse, wouldn’t it?

    • Much worse! Maybe if the law changes, H could be a gentleman pot farmer? They do well in the US now I believe and all sorts of crime rates have inexplicably fallen.

  113. hehe presenting, at Q’s request:

    • Your death threats won’t keep me away! To acclimatize, I’m trying not to wear a jumper up here.

      • Oh that’s just Q. She misses the infernal fires you know. But we’re toasty here.

      • Huh. It’s all right for some. I’m currently in a blanket jumper over three layers, and fur-lined snow boots, but I’m still freezing. It doesn’t help that I have to keep venturing out into the Antarctic chill to drop off/ pick up various kidlets for various VCE exams. Why can’t they have free babysitting for teens between exams? Bloody school.

  114. It’s interesting you should mention fur-lined boots. I was eyeing off a pair, and will acquire prior to departure.

  115. Aldi had some nice ones a couple of weeks ago. Mine came from Aldi three years ago, and I have worn them to death. Yay for shoe glue!

  116. I saw some at the discount chemist. Yes. i am thinking about buying orthopaedic boots. they look comfy.

  117. If they’re the Homy Ped ones, my mother had them and said they were very good. Do you have a Rivers anywhere nearby? Because their shoes and boots are sooooo comfy, and the prices aren’t too bad.

    • We’ve got a rRvers clearance but most of their styles are inimical to paddle feer.

      Huzzah Catty your parcel arrived! I will be good and not open it until Tuesday but many thanks xo

      • Huzzah for BDs. It sucks that you don’t get a long weekend for yours anymore, though. Ripped off.
        They have one in NSW, it’s terribly confusing, this close to the border.

  118. I’m glad, and also startled, that the parcel showed up so quickly. Yay!

    Long weekends are lovely, aren’t they? I’m looking forward to an extra day of not having to take kidlets to school. They can be somewhat unpleasant in the mornings…. no, wait, it’s me that is somewhat unpleasant. Oh, what the hey, I’m blaming them anyway.

    • We get Nambour Show day soon. Which I will probably work so I don’t leave a backlog when i fly away. I’ll be in Melbourne soon. Huzzah!

  119. Huzzah! I have started the Grand Purge…. well, not actually a purge, more of a “get that bloody crap off the sofa so our guest will have somewhere to sit, you bunch of slobs!”

    • Pfft. That’s no fun. Why not try a good old-fashioned Stalinist purge? Send a couple of ’em to a nice cold Gulag for re-education.

      • If I’m going to have to learn – or re-learn things then I’m not coming down.

      • Nooo! Not you Madam, we like you just the way you are.

      • Sob. That’s what you say now. But it’s still very touching.

      • All you need to know is how to layer, and how to eat cake, MM. Layer cake, preferably. There’s lots to choose from.
        I’ve been to Melbourne so I should know.

  120. I wonder why layer cakes aren’t made of chicken?

    • They mostly contain eggs though. Want to call them laid cakes?

  121. That sounds dirty! So, yes. Yes I do.

    • There used to be a place… was it is Rowes Arcade?.. That sold nude cupcakes and orgy canes. Now they were some laid cakes.

      • Yes it was Rowes Arcade, in a corner, about half way through. Or so I’ve heard from Fifi – never having seen them myself. Nope.

  122. Fifi is a veritable treasure trove of useful information; I hope she is willing to give up some of her secrets during Moargana’s visit.

    • I asked but she just leered and gave an evil cackle. Which to be fair is her usual response.

      • heheeeheheee I love her too

  123. I love Fifi.

    • How was everyone’s weekend? I did precious little. It was awesome.

  124. I am a big fan of doing Precious Little.
    We had lunch at Potager on Friday which was fabulous – and misty and drizzly, which makes it even better. I must post pix. Saturday the tilers were here & we did some gardening, and yesterday we spent the morning enjoying the rain & then we drove down to Coolangatta. The Bloke took the hound to visit his parents (his father turns up at mealtimes to the nursing home because they give them a 3 course meal for $8) and I cruised around Cooly Rocks & looked at old cars and rockabillies. Such a great vibe down there, bugger about all the rain, but there were plenty of breaks between downpours & I was lucky enough to catch one.
    Hopefully they’ll get better weather next year – they copped a drenching last year, too.

  125. I tidied up my pantry. It doesn’t look any different, but at least now none of the items in the teetering piles are out of date.

  126. Teetering piles? Sounds like we have the same pantry stylist.

    Q, that’s a clever idea by the nursing home. Cheap meals for visitors, free company for the residents. I feel a bit sad for the damp rockabillies, but they don’t rust.

  127. We didn’t do much. I’m trying to rest my elbow and let this RSI settle down and we were both pooped from Friday kid wrangling. Watched Netflix and some old movies, made strombolis again and drank wine. Did our walking mostly in shopping centres but didn’t get 10000 either day.

    MM and Catty may have seen about Al on Facebook but Q won’t. He’s back in Redcliff hospital for another cancer op and I have a bad feeling about this one. Al has been on Twitter too, making his “confessions” and it all seems pretty grim.

    • Horrible news. Poor love, I hope it all works out well for him.

    • yeah I’ve seen a bit of it. When he told me he was moving back in with his ex I had a feeling things were grim.

      • They’re staying with another ex near the hospital. Crystal. She and Ros are getting on well.

      • I thought Crystal was the ex-neighbour of 15 years or some such.

      • You’re right. Al clarified that point later. Must have noticed the, um, implied relationship in his earlier post.

  128. Oh no I didn’t … that’s bad news,

    Are you sure making stromboli dough is really resting your elbow, GB? I’m not saying I don;t want you to make them for me, though….

    Speaking of movies when is Iron Sky II coming out?

  129. “Greybeard didn’t want to be a stromboli maker, but he kneaded the dough….”

    I’ll see myself out, shall I?

    • Oh would you..? Ta everso.

  130. Thank you for the lovely pressies, beautiful people. I shall make sone cupcakes and then try not too get Catty’s book all sticky.

    Don’t lick the stripoer pole!

    Q technical advice…how many drops of flavouring in enough icing for a batch of cupcakes?

  131. Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*

    This may go on for a while.

    Have a magnificent day, darling girl.

    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*

  132. My pleasure MM, I hope you have fun with that. I was stuck for ideas but I know you love caramel & I’m sure the internet is full of fabulous recipes for it.
    I’d go with trial & error. I haven’t used the salted caramel flavour but for the other one I think I used about 1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon for a batch of icing that covered a 22cm round cake. I used about a teaspoon of melted butter & I just added milk until it reached the right consistency – I think it boosted the 1960s milkshake smell.

    • I will try the milk … usually I just use butter and hot water, but I think you’re right. Extra creaminess.

  133. …..
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*

    • I’ve got a touch of Ross River. Can I clap instead of kick?

  134. Happy Birthday Madam! we’ve shooed the chickens out of the guest room, patched the hole in the wall that faced Antarctica and de-iced the stairs!

    • Luxury! You could have left the chickens in though. I quite like chooks.

  135. I had a flat on the banks of the Ross River for a while. It was no surprise when they told me I had Ross River Virus. It was a surprise when they later told me it was a mistake, and I really had Barmah Forest Virus. I’ve never been near Barmah Forest!

    Feel better soon, Madam. We want your birthday to be sik, not sick. Would a conga line cheer you up? Because here it comes!

    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*

    Oh, bugger, the Wildebeest has kicked over your hat rack. Sorry, Madam. You can’t take him anywhere.

  136. So much festivity for one aging woman. I feel insufficiently vibrant. When I work my way through all the noms I’ve been sent, though, I’ll have a nice sugar rush.

    Or a Metformin prescription. Either/or.

  137. LOL.

  138. CAEk enthusiasts … have you ever seen edible wafer daisies? Jess at work made me the most adorable orange poppy seed CAEK decorated with wafer daisies! too cute

  139. Doh!
    I have some in the pantry, along with the wafer butterflies. I was tempted to add them to your cupcake kit but I was concerned they’d look a bit twee. I should have known better. Never mind, they are easy to source, MM.
    I think I get mine from coals & they are amongst the patty cases and things in the cake section.

    • Yes Jess said Coals. On s pale yelliw cake they looked delightful.

  140. I have the butterflies too! No daisies, though. They look adorable, and now I am annoyed that I don’t have any. Harumph! It’s almost enough to stop a girl from conga lining. Almost, but not quite.

    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*
    Happy, happy birthday! *kick*

    • No need for butterflies Catty. You’re not doing exams. Unless you mean tats?

      • I’m getting worried about Catty. She’s been dancing all day. Should we pray to St Vitus?

      • As long as it’s not the Tarantella.

      • Or the light fandango.

      • If I stop dancing, is that a sign of a Vitusmin deficiency?

        O.k, o.k, I’m going!

      • That’s beyond the whiter shade of pale, Catty.

  141. Could be the batusi, except being it’s Catty that would make it the Catusi.

    • Wait a minute. Is Catty wearing a cat onesie and doing an Eartha Kitt accent? Because that would be weird.

      • and strangely arousing

  142. Meow.

  143. And now I know who to blame for the furball that’s been yakked up on the floor below the crockpot.

    • Does it have any 3 foot hairs in it? Cos that might be my fault.

  144. Can’t we just all pretend it was the Wildebeest again?

    • As long as it’s got sequins in it, that’s a fair assumption.

  145. Well it does glisten. Terrifying to think what his stomach acid can do to synthetic adornments.

  146. You shouldn’t have mentioned crock pots. Your comment inspired me to get mine out for tonight’s dinner, and now the Boss is elbow-deep in his home brewing. *sigh*

    • Sorry. But I’m sure your house smells inviting.

      Did I tell you one of my workmates makes slow cooker fudge? It is divine.

  147. But does she have salted caramel liquid luck in her kitchen pantry?

    • I’m planning a batch this weekend, but if any last long enough to make it into work I’ll never reveal my secret.

  148. You have a hiding place that Elf boy has never discovered?
    Restekpah, Madam.

    • Below eye-line in the pantry. It might as well be Narnia. They’ll look – and rummage -up, but never down.

  149. That makes sense. Only the dregs settle, and nobody wants dregs. Unless they’re chocolate coated. And even then, only if there’s nothing better higher up.

  150. With weavels, way below.

  151. For some reason I haven’t had pantry moths since i moved to the Coast. Maybe they don’t like salt air?

  152. Mmmm… salt air…

    I have moths, but they are all in my WIR. Apparently they’ve decided I’m their moth-er.

    O.k, o.k, I’m leaving.

  153. Take the veal with you when you go. There are things buzzing around the carcas and I don’t want them getting into the pantry for an orgy with the kitchen nits.

  154. We need a better system for the left-overs. Eat more at mealtimes to avoid generating any?

  155. What, and spoil our dessert? NEVER!!!

  156. Mmm … dessert. Woolies had Nanna’s apple pies on special. OK, nowhere near as delicious my deceased Aunt’s cake-pastry apple pie, but at $3 a pop – like!

  157. Mmmmm… apple pie and custard…

    I bought SFC popcorn chicken from Coals, and some mini pizza bases, because LK assures me that popcorn chicken pizzas will be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. He’d better be right, or I will be extremely disappointed.

    • So… is he a visionary, or a misguided culinary Frankenstein?

  158. I was thinking more along the lines of Swedish Chef:

  159. Er bor der miski dor, Chicki Du Chef!

    • Bjork, bjork, bjork!

      • Hurdy durdy!

    • I leave you for one day, and I come back to popcorn chicken and the floor covered in durdy.

  160. Poppidy-corn!

    • Popcorn chicken would be trying very hard to beat pepperoni, capsicum and mushroom. For example, how do you stop it from rolling off?

      Also bjork, bjork durdy!

  161. I’ll let you know when we make it, Madam, but at a guess I’d say that we’ll have to build little corrals around the popcorn chicken with chips, to stop it escaping. Or slam a colander over it, like Swedish Chef did with the popcorn shrimp.

  162. Or just give it a trampoline and lean over it with your mouths wide open.

  163. Only 3 sleeps to go! I have new pants, to mark the occasion.

  164. I’m so excited, I don’t care whether you’re wearing pants or not! I’ll have to find out your plans so we can add me in to some of them – especially the CAEK related stuff.

  165. Q, Nbob says hello. He says he’s staying off Twitter for his mental health.

    Catty, we’re all doing Hopetoun on Sunday at 11 still? And I’ve told GB that you’re keen to come on an op-shop crawl with Fifi, no date for that that I know of as yet but will let you know. i suppose it would have to be Saturday or Tuesday because we’re doing Van Gogh on Monday. Eeeeek!

  166. I’m so excited for you, MM. I hope you’re doing Mornington, too. Boystown have just opened sales in their new prize home down there -it’s not open to the public but I’m sure that a drive by, with a stop in at the yacht club, (most delicious) is well worth the effort.
    Tell Nblob that I take periodic breaks from twitter, myself. As I said before I excused myself last week, it’s like the fricking Karpman Drama Triangle set on endless loop.

  167. Thanks, Q it is quite thrilling. i doubt we’ll make it out of town though – too much to do in the CBD and too little time. Maybe next trip.

  168. Isn’t that what you said last time? Mornington really is lovely, but only if it’s nice weather. And being that it’s Melbourne, nobody can possibly predict that.

  169. Indeed. Anyway, don’t forget I’ve got no shortage of gorgeous scenery where I live. I’m going more for the urban buzz. I just adore the alleys and arcades!

    On to more important matters … have you prepared your entries yet?

  170. It is gorgeous here at the moment. It’s like the weather is rolling out the welcome mat for Morgana. I sure hope it stays like this. It’s beautiful!

    Also, 11:00 at Hopetoun is a goer, and if it’s o.k I’d love to do the op shop rounds on the Tuesday. If you can manage it, I’d also love it if you can come for a feed here one evening. If not, I can always bring sugary noms to GB’s.

  171. Oh, I can eat. Does it matter what night? I’ll have to liaise with my concierge.

  172. Wednesday night would be a little tricky, what with the kidlets’ dancing, but do-able. Otherwise, my social calendar is open.

    • I’ll be in Coolum on Wednesday night, so that’s fine 😀

  173. I’ll do some cooking today & tomorrow, it’s all due in by 7pm on Thursday at the showgrounds. My crowd-phobia seems to be getting worse rather than better, so I tend to forget that normal folk don’t wish to run screaming from the urban experience. If I didn’t know I’d have peace & solitude in plenty & I’m unlikely to run into anyone asking unanswerable questions after my insane family, I’d never have accepted the show steward duties on Sunday. When do you leave, MM?

    • Friday, straight from work. One of my work friends offered to take me to the airport and I’ll fly away. To Ringworm, and not much beyond!

      • Also i don’t particularly fear crowds. I find humans more detestable vis a vis.

      • woohoo. The coast airport? And are you taking children?

  174. I hate ’em all, singular and plural. Humanity is a poor choice of name – there is little about it that I find humane.

  175. Yet to call them animals is unkind to our furry and feathered brethren .

  176. Humanity on the creek is very different to humanity out on the town. It’s the fumes that get me, there’s something about the combination of Scotch & White diamonds in crowd strength proportions that makes me want to gag. Sweat & sunscreen OTOH is absolutely fine.

  177. White Diamonds is known to drown out the stench of last night’s excessively-quaffed Cab Sav.

  178. All this talk of White Diamonds … I’ve forgotten, is Elizabeth Taylor still alive?

  179. I’d have to check in with the Neolution compound to be sure.
    I didn’t realise that Orphan Black was back on SBS. We had to watch the first episode on iView and the airplay on the apple TV hated all the adds and kept switching the mac to screen saver. Stoopid adds. So glad it’s back on, though. The torment of waiting to see what would happen…argh!

  180. But it’s the last season!

    All of my personalities are devoed.

    • Picturing all the clones wearing DVO hats right now.

  181. Devo.
    Sigh. Whatever the hell is wrong with your phone, it must be catching.

  182. It’s probably just me. i”m not getting any younger.

  183. I am. This year I turned 29. That’s substantially younger than last year.

  184. I’m old enough to be your mother now. Awwww!

  185. Keep working on that age reduction tactic, Catty, it’ll serve you in good stead when you sell the film rights to your novel – at which point, you’ll want to catch the trash magazines for slander.

    • Good idea! I’m feeling 27 coming on, myself.

  186. We have odours of leather, scotch, books, wine, stout, clean sheets, herbs, wood smoke and cheese. Will that be OK Madam? Looking forward to Friday night! I’m sure we can do an Op/second hand shop visit on Saturday if that’s your fancy. Have you seen Hunted at Kilsyth Catty? It’s big. Very big. Hopetoun on Sunday morning at 11? And Van Gogh is booked for Monday. Wow. Busy schedule MM.

    • Huzzah! I hope i make a harmonious contribution to the olfactory ambience. I’m going to smell like freedom, with a healthy splash of hedonism.

      Are you free to rummage on Saturday, Catty… or will we just abduct yoy?

  187. Saturday? Noooooooo! I can’t do Saturday op-shopping! *sob*

    I don’t know Hunted! How long has that been there?

    • It’s fairly new I think. Sandy told us about it and it’s not far from the Brotherhood place at Kilsyth. Quite big.

  188. This sounds like sooo much fun. Think of me whenever you are eating. I’ll be on duty in the show pavilion guarding the crocheted coat hangers & discouraging children from unstoppering the home brew.

    • Mother wishes you all ‘the best Q – and says we’ll have to come and observe you next year.

      Catty don’t fret. We’ll just have to shop twice.

      • That would be lovely, MM. And I might actually have unpacked that feral pile of boxes in the green room by this time next year.

  189. It’s a big sacrifice. You are very kind! Mwah!

    • Yes, no matter how much it makes me suffer. I’m that good a friend.

  190. Hey, we’re sacrificing too. We were having lunch at this Turkish place and got some evil Turkish delight, studded with pistachios. Just to share of course.

    • Mmm…. aacrilicious.

    • I do miss Ahmet’s at Bulimba…that chicken dish they did with the beetroot sauce & the potato salad…OMG, I do miss it so.
      Ha, I have to share.
      While I was dog-walking today I had to confess that I’d forgotten a neighbour’s name, but to my credit, I could remember that his daughter was ‘Shya’. (sp?) He was very impressed as he said everyone forgets her name & how did I remember?
      And it slipped out. ‘WTF is wrong with people, that’s too easy. Simple word association, Shire – Hobbits.’
      Said in Nazful tones.
      He had a good giggle at that one, the more so when I said ‘Seriously, you can’t tell me I’m the only one. Normal people are so polite.’

      • You missed a golden opportunity to come and live on one of our many Tolkien themed streets. There’s Rivendell Ave and Frodo Court etc. but sadly no Bag End.

        Does anyone else remember a restaurant in Bardon called Pippin Took?

  191. I once knew a lady whose daughter was named Inaca. I never forgot the girl’s name, because I assumed that was where she was conceived. I was too polite to say that to her mother, though … oooh, does that mean I’m normal? On consideration, probably not.

  192. I’m pretty sure that none of us are normal. It’s in the Charter.

  193. When I finally found my Dad’s family, I said to them ‘given Dad’s struggles with IBS, I should’ve known I’d find his family Innaloo.’

    • You’ve been taking joke lessons from Catty, haven’t you?

      • Noooooo!

  194. Bottoms up…or should I say wheels up. When does your guest arrive, Khan GB?

    • I don’t know exactly but I think touchdown is about 7:30. Planning a pick-up from Ringworm on the way home from Snottley Manor. We’ve had another all day session.

  195. About the same time as the big storm that’s currently rolling in. It seems fitting.

  196. Junior manflu & hail apocalypse.
    You sure do know how to deliver, Melbournites.

  197. Don’t blame me. This is quite obviously GB’s handiwork. By the way, GB, nice job on the WannaCry hack. Now none of us have to worry about speeding fines on the way to Hopetoun.

    • freezing cold and, raining and now I know GB’s Wi-Fi password. Best. Holiday. Ever !,

    • I’m innacent. Always.

  198. You’re here! Yay! Let the Quaffing commence!

    • It jolly well will. 11 at Hopetoun. Mayhem, where are you darls? Hope you’re still coming too?

      • Hey! I didn’t realise you were awake. Cup of tea?

  199. Sorry Catty. We’ve lost Morgana in this huge second hand shop. And Fifi. I’m off home – sure they’ll be fine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: