Archive for the ‘art’ Category

Drag Bingo
7 April, 2017

Drag

A fabulous evening with the captivating Miss Melony Breasts and the talented Miss Sal Monella.  It was the Bison Bar – the same venue as the Datson + Hughes single launch.  And I won the final call, and was presented with the coveted Bingo Scrubber award, so now I can die happy.

scrub

GOMAzing
5 February, 2017

img_4877

The always lovely Ildi and I met at GOMA yesterday and spent the next 4 hours marvelling at GOMA’s 10th birthday party.  The installation by an Icelandic(of course) artist who has a name like something complicated from IKEA but fortunately for Anglophones goes by “shoplifter” had to be stroked to be believed, and there was an installation in a dark gallery made simply of lighting and a smoke machine that played with your mind – in a good way.  We agreed that every cent of our tax dollars that it costs is well worth while. Do yourself a favour.

 

 

 

Arrgh! Watch Treasure Island 2012 in honour of TLAPD, ye scurvy rascals
19 September, 2012

Ahoy, shipmates.  The first mate, the cabin boy and I lashed ourselves to the mast last weekend and viewed Treasure Island 2012, a BBC miniseries:

youtube.com/watch?v=096g8N6roMc

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this version.  Featuring a talented cast who play well together, it’s a fresh modern production with a fabulous soundtrack.

Famous faces abound:  Donald Sutherland looks like he’s enjoying his role as the treacherous Captain Flint; Rupert Penry-Jones – fabulous in “Whitechapel”, another BBC production – is exquisitely nasty, playing the Squire so far towards the top of the upper crust that one wonders if he needed supplemental oxygen between takes;  Eddie Izzard imbues his Long John Silver with more chiaroscuro than usually seen in this character; Toby Regbo is terrific as Jim Hawkins and Shirley Henderson – Moaning Myrtle in the HP films – plays his mum, her fragile frame, pixie face and wispy voice perfect for the role of victimised widow.  Elijah Wood’s cameo as Ben Gunn is fun – with his love of cheese and the Bible, he was the kids’ favourite character.

A few characters have been invented for the series – including John Silver’s wife, played by Nina Sosanya – and some reassigned or re-imagined – the Doctor starts out as a cowardly drunk, but hits his hero straps eventually – in comparison with Robert Louis Stevenson’s original, but none of them seemed out of place or tacked on.

Beautiful art direction keeps you watching through the parts when your attention may stray a little, thinking you know what comes next.  And there’s an intriguing – if gory – keelhauling scene.  Four out of five pieces of eight.

Valley of the Shadowy Pee
16 September, 2011

Steampunk Urinal: somebody is taking the piss

It seems that Brisbane’s favourite nightclub and random glassing by inebriated strangers precinct has a wee problem: http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/you-wont-believe-where-some-people-go/story-e6freoof-122613822441

People are going out, going hard and then… well, just going wherever they feel like it. A Mr Mergard said the problem was so bad that “There is a toilet in which people urinate outside and people inside get urinated on.” Don’t worry too much about that one, Mr Mergard –  I think it’s in The Beat, and the patrons actually like it that way.

Other instances of public tinkling are non-consensual, however, and it’s a bigger problem than you might think. Up to 30 people a day are being fined under a Police public nuisance blitz. 30 a day? Makes you wonder how many caught-short scoff-laws are whizzing undetected.

Not to worry, though, I’ve come up with some workable solutions:

The Garden Bed 

Just pop bunches of these little beauties, in a circular formation, at regular intervals down the Brunswick street mall.  No need to weed!
Heritage Pissing
These are a personal favourite. Shame that ‘Monastery’ is now closed, but there are still a number of operational and converted churches in the Valley that would be enhanced by an open-air installation of gargoyle pissoirs. I’d also like to see several rows of them against the flats they built on the old Cathedral site, in memory of the Vatican pinching all the money raised for building on that block.
Go-Go Glowsticks
An idea derived by this charming invention for those caught short on the golf course. Just increase the volume and, erm, calibre of the average glowstick, include a screw-on lid, and voila! Rave on, hipsters.

Mutant Mayhem
23 August, 2011

Add a little spider, and couch man can now get his own damn beer without having to put the remote control down.

I note with interest that an American genetic engineer and a Dutch artist collaborated to weave a lattice of human skin and spider silk, extracted from genetically-altered silkworms, for want of sufficient mutant goat silk.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/artist-uses-spider-goat-silk-to-create-bulletproof-skin/story-e6frep26-1226119545

Sadly, the resultant textile of terror proved quite permeable to normal-speed bullets, but it does raise some fascinating scenarios. If you had a nice whack of research funding, and a lab-full of gene shears and incubators, what would you like to hybridise?

First out of my petri dish would be a male of the human species, with the ability bred into his willy… stay with me, it’s not what you think… to aim at and hit the inside of the toilet bowl, every time. I’d just extract the unerring accuracy of a frog’s tongue, or perhaps the directional capacity of a homing pigeon, and whack it into the offending organ.

There’s a scientific advance that would benefit womankind, people.

Now we can cross chooks and pigs, to produce bacon-flavoured eggs. Or how about pigeons and their fellow travellers, engineered to produce poop that acts as a fabric conditioner and deodoriser, putting an end to clothesline blight and rewashing syndrome?

Over to you, science.

WTF To Sleep
30 June, 2011

We’ve all been greatly entertained – thanks,Catty! – over the last week or so by listening to Samuel L Jackson read from the adult bedtime classic “Go The F*ck To Sleep”. Indeed, I’d replay it every time I try to GTF to sleep, only my gurgling chuckles tend to wake the children and send the cats scampering up the Venetian blinds.

So I think you’ll all be pleased to hear that, during our recent outing into the community, I found and purchased the strangest book ever published: an illustrated children’s book by Sylvia Plath. Published – for the first, and surely last, time – in 1996, so posthumously as to be bordering on the archaeological, I’d love to be able to comment on the contents but I’m scared to read it. If I ever wash up on a beach in pyjamas, with my pockets full of stones and used Kleenex, tell the coroner it’s Sylvia’s fault.

On the topic of strange things I did in Brisbane… The Surrealists at GOMA is fabulous. I won’t go on too much, because you pretty much have to go and experience it yourself. However, I’ve developed a huge afterlife crush on Andre Breton – he of the Michealangelo profile and deliciously tortuous mind – and if I can just work out a surreptitious way of sneaking a tonne or so of bronze out of the centre of a fortified, heavily guarded gallery, Magritte’s “Madame Récamier de David” bronze will soon be my new coffee table.

Since it’s school holidays, I think we should have an essay topic: What Strange Things Have You Been Up To? Answers with a double-ruled red margin on one side of a foolscap page, in your neatest handwriting, please. We’re odding it up, old school.

Geocache Challenge
12 May, 2011

It’s not my fault. It all started with a friend… have we had “Sophie” as an alias yet? Sophie forwarded me an email with pix of hilarious “missing dog” type flyers that random idiots with too much time on their hands have posted out and about.

This one struck a personal chord:

But I think this was probably the LOLest:

Anyway, I drank too much coffee and during a full and frank exchange of emails Sophie dared me to post one of my own. So I did, and I’m not sure how long it survived on the corner of The Esplanade and First Avenue at Maroochydore.


I think, if you read the title, you can guess the next bit. Anyone feeling silly and time-rich – in the spirit of performance art, slam poetry and public nuisance – post a flyer and upload your pix, please. We could all use a laugh.

GOMA = Get Out! Mega Awesome
12 March, 2011

I dragged the kids to GOMA yesterday to catch the 21st C exhibition. It wasn’t easy.

“Southbank?” said Magic Man, “That’s where the museum is. I want to see dinosaurs. Modern art sucks – it’s just stupid splashes of paint.”

Tough critic, that young man – he’s no fan of the new bridge, either. In fact, the first time he saw it he snorted with derision. “What’s that meant to be?”

“It’s a bridge, darling.” I replied, “They’re probably trying to represent sails and rigging from an old fashioned ship.”

“Huh. Modern Art.” He mumbled, intonation dripping with withering scorn.

Elf Boy has no stance on modern art, but expressed a preference to continue chasing spiders in his Grandmother’s backyard. His major objection was to closed footwear, rather than of aesthetics.

“You’ll thank me later.” I snarled. As it happens, the thanks came sooner and often. This free – yes, free! – exhibition is one of the best I’ve seen mounted anywhere.

The kids were entranced by Olafur Eliasson’s Lego installation. A very long table held a fantasy streetscape – think Godzilla, minarets, wacky spirals and more – in white Lego. Piles of loose bricks and low stools encouraged visitors to add their own buildings.

Rivane Neuenschwander’s installation I Wish your Wish was my first stop. Visitors write a wish on a slip of paper, which they can then exchange for a coloured ribbon silk-screened with someone else’s wish. Reading the wishes on the wall had me counting my blessings. Many – I wish I lived in Australia, I wish for a happy healthy baby, I wish I had a nice garden, I wish I had more friends – were already my reality. In the end,  I was tempted by a lush purple ribbon reading “I wish I had magical powers”. I’ve tied it around my wrist and according to Brazilian (no, not what you’re thinking, the Latin American country) legend when it falls off, my wish will come true.

Every exhibit was gorgeous, interesting, challenging or amusing. The Australian artists were among my  favourites, especially Yvonne Koolmatrie’s basketry and the fish traps made from pandanus by the Maningrida artists. Adults, teens and children all seemed to be having the time of their lives – there was a buzz in the gallery like the charge you get from a good night out. Or used to get, before you (read, “I”) got old and decrepit and preferred to stay in with a good book.

We’re coming back at least once – it ends (too soon!) with the Easter school holidays. Do yourself a favour and view – you’ll get a lovely glow to see your tax dollars – for once – well spent.