Garden of Unearthly Delights
30 April, 2011

Bromeliad stir-fry

Okay, “Unearthly Delights” is gilding the bromeliad a bit, but with Aunt Irma due, all I really felt like doing today was snarling at anyone within a 100m radius and eating left-over Zombie Jesus chocolate.

This is a couple of Broms planted in an old wok that had Teflon dandruff, and the lid of our superceded Weber. The lime-green ground cover is Yellow Sedum or Cedum… the bloke I brought it from wasn’t sure. I like to think its “See’d Um” as in:

“Wow, look at that spectacular Chartreuse groundcover!”

“Yeah, I seed um.”

Charcoal Bat Plant

Bat Plant: up close & personal

This little beauty is a Bat Plant – the evil Goth cousin of the Madonna Lily. I’d like one as my funeral adornment, please. Just bung the whole old Weber on my biodegradable recycled cardboard box, then stick it back in front of the chookyard when we’re done.

You can see a wedge of Tikka’s arse in the first photo. Yep, she’s tunnelling her way to freedom again. Just call me Colonel Klink.

Total Control
16 March, 2010

There’s been hoo haa on the interwebz and crusty media overnight about this little number, a “novelty” marketed by one of the big seppo chain stores that’s been devouring our local book shops. My initial thought was, “Well, it gives the wankers who’d but something like that something new to play with – geez, their tiny little appendages will be relieved.”, closely followed by “It’s good, in that they’ll waste $15 on it that might otherwise have been spent on home-brewed crystal meth”.

But then I reconsidered. I wouldn’t mind having a man remote, but the buttons wouldn’t be wasted on trivia like beer and stripping. Who wouldn’t love a “Your career is just as important as mine, so I’ll stay home with the kids” function, or perhaps you could amp up “Who cares about the footy? I’d rather have family time.”

If you could remote control your partner, which button would get the most wear?

Hey web!
23 November, 2009

I’m Madam Morgana – writer, mother, cook, gardener, extreme sportswoman, deep undercover with a major international counter espionage organization.

One or more of the above may be a blatant lie.

I could tell you, but then… hell, you know the rest.